[ [ - a walk to remember - ] ]

feelings

2007-06-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

I'm missing.

I'm envying.

I'm hoping.

I'm praying.

2007-04-27T09:14:00.000-07:00

I saved my blog finally after so long.

suddenly this a walk to remember movie keep flashing in my mind. the songs, the characters, the storyline.

i simply enjoyed every bit of it. i've read the storybook. but i feel like reading again. hahas.

life = a walk to remember

i tink that's kinda meaningful. din do much today though. went for tuition. emoism! i simply cant bear to stop teaching that boy. he's just so.. hahas.. naughty yet adorable. and he told me today that he don't wan me to leave. i'm like so touched. when i tink of it my tears just feel like falling.

to my friends,
I hope all of u are doing well. don't be sad over things that are not worth thinking. cox they just make u even sadder if u continue thinking about it. it's easier said than done but try ya.. everyone's there with you i know. I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS!
and JASMINE LEE JIE YING! when are we going shopping? hahahas

to mr kiap,
I think i have nothing to say but i just feel like leaving u with a msg all of a sudden. i really miss u and ur stories. =)

- first update of 2007 -

2007-04-01T01:48:00.000-07:00

just noticed that this is my first update of the year. alot of things to say and update u guys but i dunno where shd i start from.

started FYP in NTU. go there everyday from 9am to 6pm or even later. kinda no life cox i've got no frens there to talk to and entertain. but i've no choice. get to learn anyway.

the fact that NTU's life is not lively, i'll go crazy when i see my frens. i'll talk alot cox i only do that when i see my frens.

no friendly long talks in NTU =)

Dinner and Dance- it's been quite a long time but still i wan to thank everyone who made this happened. thanks to all the helpers, participants and friends who help out when they don't have to. =)

Huiling- happy birthday=) didn't have a chance to celebrate with u but i'm glad to see that u are enjoying urself =) stay happy!

Charity event- an enriching event for me. learnt alot. though these kids have their own unhappy stories they are indeed cute and lovable. i haven got the photos! anyone with the photos can u pls send them to me? thanks.

recently sth happened in my family. it's the first time i'm so lost anxious and my heart's totally not calm at all. really totally. my heart almost jumped out. this is the first time i could feel that very strongly. but i tried my best to stay calm cox i had to. everything lasted for more than a week.

we are all trying to adapting and bring things back to normal. esp mummy but i tink we are all doing well now =)

i miss all my friends too! hahas..

hope to see u all soon =)

- tell me yes -

2006-12-26T23:24:00.000-08:00

say yes i will.. may my wishes come true

may everyone's wishes come true! love all of u.. =)

- i'm missing -

2006-12-13T23:25:00.000-08:00

CCTA CT? it's like a practical test..

kill me can? hahas.. the paper is as good as killing me la..

nvm.. last paper le! jia you people!!!

ACMB ACMB ACMB ACMB!!!! must think tt's it's a wonderful module and start studying hard on it..

hahahahas! good luck=)

am I good?

2006-12-11T21:48:00.000-08:00

COMMON TEST WEEK!!!!!!!

Monday - Instrumentation CT
Tuesday - CCTA revision lecture
Wednesday - CCTA CT
Thursday - Study ACMB
Friday - ACMB CT

had instru today.. screwed up i guess

i'm not starting to study CCTA.. how?

I want a nice house!

I want to shop!

I want to watch movie!

I want to go IKEA!

Many things i wanna do.. BUT common test comes first..

- JIAYOU! -

AM I GOOD?

- what's wrong -

2006-11-25T10:40:00.000-08:00

many things are not in the correct state. i've been emo-ing since last week. about everything.. really everything. school family friends passion.

somehow my temper has gone down hill but i dun know y.. i told myself i wanna b like the past.. but sometimes i still cant help it.. i havent been laughing like a mad girl since dunno how long ago.. i haven been treating pple nicely..

i want to laugh like a mad girl.. i wanna be cheerful like last time.. i hate to sulk all the times.. i hate everything that's happening now..

*I'm sorry to whoever i haven been treating well recently.. ..*

*I'm sorry to my baby panda for emo-ing for so long.. n thank you so much for tolerating me.. -loves- *

- boredom -

2006-10-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

I'M BORED! yeah sch has reopened.. by right i shd nt be feeling bored.. hahas.. shd be doing some kinda revision.. BUT expectedly i'm not therefore i'm feeling bored..

sis is using my lappy so i'm using hers nw.. so not used to it.. hahas

well.. somethings that i have done today~
1. swimming with xuefang
2. lunch with my boy
3. shopping with my boy
4. shopping with the others girls too

hahas.. SWIMMING! i tink swimming rules.. hahas.. i was swimming and resting alot at first.. cox i was tired after every lap.. hahahas.. but towards the end i swam continuously and surprisingly i wasnt as tired instead i wanna swim more.. so i swam more.. hahas..

afterwhich went bugis and meet my boy.. had lunch at the food court and guess wat.. i forgotten to tell the auntie i dun wan oil.. oh god..

hahas.. den off we went to shop.. felt that there wasnt much stuffs to shop at bugis suddenly.. dunno y.. hahahas..

after today.. i had a fashion consultant that is MR PEK KIAP HOW! hahahas.. he has become my fashion consultant after today... hahahas.. first time he told me wat kinda clothes i look better in and wat kinda clothes i look weird in..

this is something new yet something i love! i think it is nice to hear these comments from others so that i can look better in future.. esp from your partner.. like hearing these from my boy which i think is sweet of him to tell me.. hahas... loves!

i still haven had enough of shopping today.. hahas.. i wanna shop more!! i haven bought wat i wanna buy..
1. jeans
2. tops
3. skirts
4. necklaces
5. bracelet

hahahas.. i wanna buy all tt.. my jeans are like kinda damaged~ hahahas.. wat a nice word i've used.. hahas.. i wanna go shopping again with u darling! loves!

gym tml!

- i'm waiting for you -

- wee -

2006-10-06T00:02:00.000-07:00

hahas.. i haven been updating! i'm sorry... hahahas!

anw.. life had been quite similar for the pass few weeks.. so ya.. hahas! today was mummy's birthday n me and dar's 9 month anniversary.. but well i spent some time with dar only.. so i'm sorry for nt really pei-ing u today =X hahas..

bought dian xiao er de duck for my mum.. shi quan kao ya.. hahahas! it helps to relieve stress! hahahas.. it's nt bad.. even me (i dun like duck meat) tink tt it's nt bad.. hahahas

had dinner outside too.. tink mummy enjoyed her birthday.. WEE! hahas

couple of things i wanna do tml..
1. swimming in the morn
2. try to call up hotels
3. tuition with danish
4. meet up with michelle n jiawei

hopefully i can do them all.. hahas.. i seriously need to jian fei.. so i decided tt i'll go swimming tml.. hahas! yay! hahaahas

sch's reopening.. hais.. LET'S ALL WORK HARD KAE! hahahas.. tink every sem i say the same tin but everytime my results are still damn lousy.. haahas

- JAMIE CHOW WAN YING! - hey hey u talked to who? never tell me!! hahahahas.. take care alrighty! loves!

-LEE HUILING- boo! hope u are doing fine alright.. update ur blog too! i've updated mine!

-JASMINE LEE JIEYING- hahahas!!! i'm looking forward to aerobics!! i haven seen u for years!

- CHALET! -

2006-09-10T00:28:00.000-07:00

chalet chalet chalet! i'll be off for chalet till like.. next fri? hahas.. so wun b blogging.. but there's always the HANDPHONE so can still get me thru tt of cox..

read thru my peeps blog almost very day to see how they are getting along.. cox din have much time to see them.. if possible i'll tag their board.. but i notice sth.. MISS LEE HUILING! can u pls have a tagboard or sth? lidat i dunno how to leave msg lehs! esp when u are working nw.. dun tink can get u so easily.. hahas

i'm bored.. i need entertainment.. i desperately wanna shop! i'm broke but i still wan to shop.. no shopping no mood.. hahas!

after chalet n camp i'm gonna chiong shopping so peeps must wait for me kae! hahas!

today's my parents 22nd wedding anniversary.. hahas.. so went out n have dinner.. my dad gave my mummy a diamond ring.. woW! the most expensive present ever.. hahas.. but i love bothe of them.. hahas! i love my family! muacks!

- wenny's thoughts -

2006-09-07T23:53:00.000-07:00

alrighty, nw that the comex show is over.. i'm jobless.. hahas.. but well left with my tuition anyway.

first i have to really thank my son MR SHING LEE YUAN RONG, for giving tis poor mummy a chance to work in the show to earn $$.. at least i got back some of the lost money.. hahas! thanks son!

well everything went okie.. but after the show i fell sick.. has been sick since like saturday? hahas.. but no worries.. i'm on my way of recovery.. hahas!

sometimes we are born to be someone.. and given some things that we cant change them.. i guess that's stuffs that we have to live with.. however we have to make slight changes to adapt to the kinda of situation we are in or the kinda of environment we are exposed..

it's nt easy but we have to try.. well.. tis is for the better future rite?

hahas.. i guess u guys may be tinking y m i talking of tis out of the blue.. hahas.. just some tots in my mind? hahas.. emo? no la.. i'm bored.. hahahas!

pple let's zhen zuo n jia you in everything we are doing alright!

hahas.. suddenly i feel like eating alot of stuff! hahas.. i wan sushi, minced meat kuay teow, fried kuay teow, carrot cake, kuay chap, tom yam, KFC's bandito meal, hahas,, n many many more~ i'm feeling greedy!

*i'm looking forward for the chalets!*

- work! -

2006-09-03T00:41:00.000-07:00

well... after 3 days of work at IT fair.. i had 10 sets of sales altogether?

hahas.. first day was like.. 0? hahas.. 2nd day 3 den today 7.. thanks to jj for sparing me 1.. i owe u one..

anw doing sales wasnt bad.. well.. i've always prefer sales.. The Ritz Carlton Hotel asst manager for lounge actually called me.. but i cant avoid the latest shift.. so i have no choice but nt to take the job.. i'm sad.. but i've no choice.. look for other jobs?

i guess so.. guess i'll try levis again mayb? hahas.. i'll see how it goes after tml ba.. cox i'm STRICTLY NOT allowed to work during school.. only tutoring is allowed.. so i dun hav much choice as well..

one of my customer today was a v old man who is slightly disabled.. hearing n eye sight prob.. i guess he's about 80 already.. but he is an educated man i have to say.. he can even make movies using movie maker.. though i took a v long time to serve him.. but i tot that serve was an enriching one..

he asked me questions abt lightscribe n stuff.. he oso mention tt he cant wait... cox he may nt be able to live till den.. i'm v sad abt tt.. but yet tis uncle is a nice n 'cute' one.. though he has some disabilities.. he still joke.. nice uncle..

although his neighbour told him tt dere's another stall selling the same one at a cheaper price.. he still bought it from me.. i'm really v touched n helped him carry his desktop to his daughter's car too.. it's heavy but i feel nice..

hahas! sometimes working do give u tis diff kinda feeling.. enriching with a sense of achievement... hahas.. ienjoyed myself tis few days i have to say... tml is the last day.. tt's really fast.. i'll miss the job.. =)

i'm waiting for my boy to knock off.. - i noe u miss me n u noe i miss u too! - i love you! -

- this is NEW! -

2006-08-30T00:49:00.000-07:00

finally a new blogskin.. hahas.. my own creation wor~ so pink rite.. but i tot it was okie.. hahas

well.. exams are over.. many tins happened.. some UNPLEASANT ones.. hahas.. some of u will noe wat i'm referring to..

i'm broke seriously damn broke.. tis is unpleasant! but well.. i'm working on IT fair from 31 Aug to 3 Sept.. hahas.. thanks son! i'm happy that i'm going to earn..

went out to look for job.. i'm stupid i have to agree.. first shop i entered to fill up the form.. guess wat i did.. i wrote my old hp no.. hahas.. so.. tt shop is gone case le..

had an interview at The Ritz Carlton Hotel.. a job at the lounge.. the manager was nice.. humorous.. it's shift work.. 8am to 530pm, 2pm to 1130pm and 330pm to 1am... told mummy and she was unhappy cox of the late working hours.. but i'm really quite interested in working dere.. i tot the environment is nice.. but i guess i'll have the give up tt opportunity.. cox of parents objections.. =(

called up levis.. but tink they wun hire me cox i said i'll work for holis only.. but jamie taught me a tactic.. hahas.. i haven tried..

i really need to earn $.. hahas.. cox of the lounge job i had a long chat over the phone with my dad.. started talking about my studies cox i wanted to continue working after holis.. but he is strictly nt allowing..

studies studies n studies.. forget abt local uni.. cox i'm nt getting in for sure.. my results aint great.. so dad n mum always say if i cant get in local uni.. den tey can send me to overseas uni.. but tt's provided i can the expected grades.. i always tot tt y spend $ studying overseas n fail.. no point..

so dad said "cant fail! must get at least a degree."

which means.. no matter wat he wans me to get a degree.. even if it means tt he has to sent me overseas.. i still have to get it.. when he told me tt i felt the huge amt of stress pounding on me.. i always wanted to go uni.. but looking at my results.. i'm doubting myself.. but mummy n papa are giving me an alternative from local uni..

what if i cant even get into foreign uni.. what if i go there but i fail.. all the what ifs..

i've no ans for them.... *i'm thinking.. i'm doubting*

- maybe it's better -

2006-07-29T00:04:00.000-07:00

well, my blog is still nt in a good conditions.. sorry pple.. really dun have time to tidy stuff up.. i promise i'll do it in the semestral holis..

i guess i have to say tt it's really amazing on pple we can score incredibly well when they continuously claimed tt tey haven been studying and stuff.. i've nv believe in the 'nt studying and score' logic.. well i tink it's nt possible..

hahahas.. i admit tt it might b jealousy but well who dun envy pple with good grades.. n who dun 'gek' seeing pple claiming tt tey dun study to score much better than u.. who dun get irritated when pple get close to u just cox tey wanna have some of ur knowledge.. rite?

it's nt stupid n hypocrite when u get close to ur frens cox u hope to get their help to score better.. but it is if u do so when u hate tt person.. and tell others how much u dun like him.. aint u mentally guilty? well.. mayb you aint.. =X

hahahas... having said all these.. i guess gek-ing being jealous n wad so ever doesnt help.. wat is more practical is to work hard for urself.. nt anyone else.. n remove tt 'gek-ness' from u..

exams are coming.. so peeps.. let's start mugging.. hahahas! it's pitiful but well tt's how u r gonna get ur good grades n remove tt jealousy and gek-ness from urself.. no point 'gek-ing' n dun do ath.. jia you pple!!

* it's been a long time.. but i tink it's nice.. -bubble tea- *

- is this the way -

2006-06-10T23:17:00.000-07:00

i'm not sure if tt was for me..

but if tt was really for me.. and tis is the only way that we can communicate.. then...

i dun wanna choose anything.. it doesnt feel good to choose..

i'm not sure what path i'm gonna take..

i'm not sure if that was really the path i chose..

i'm not sure about alot of things..

my light was always far from me..

my light was never switched on when i want it to...

i never chose any of you over any of my friends..

cox i hate to choose..

i dun wanna keep things from you..

but i noe i can gain ur trust no more..

i wanna be back..

but it's never so easy..

if i really have to choose.. i will choose both..

let me sound greedy cox i choose the times when everything was in place..

i noe u may feel left behind..

but i never felt better... i dunno wat's the right way to talk.. i dunno wat's the right tin to say..

cox i think i never said the right thing..

i may sound like i wanna be a saint.. that's up to all of u to judge..

but if u are happy nw.. and u think everything's better this way..

i'll respect u...

and keep those memories with me...

cox i never want to forget.................

- i really miss those days -

2006-06-10T01:50:00.000-07:00

i really missed those days..

suddenly tot of alot of tins when all my common tests are over.. i dunno how i'm gonna fare.. but well.. i cant do much nw..

i missed the times when we spend time talking to one another about anything..

i missed the times when we go mad together..

i missed the times when we do work together..

i missed the times when we had so much fun together..

i missed the times when we had coffee n chat all long..

i missed the times when we go mad during shopping..

i missed the times when we had so much to talk about until time wasnt enough..

i missed the times.........................................

i dunno wat else to say... but i just missed those time...

i saw sth somewhere.. she started talking abt some frens stuff.. i read n i noe immediately it wasnt abt me...

i dunno i shd b happy or sad.. but i'm feeling more of sad nw..

if it's was about me.. i would have felt better.. but it isnt..

mayb this person hates me...

mayb this person has lost her trust for me along time ago..

mayb this person thinks that i've changed into a different person..

mayb this person thinks that i'm childish...

mayb this person thinks that i'm selfish..

mayb this person thinks that i'm no longer caring about our friendship..

mayb this person........................

i dunno... are all these just redundant? it's up to u to judge..

everything right nw it's so diff frm the past.. wat abt the authority.. wat abt the power..

is all these just so influencial.. so appealing to humans..

where are the feelings..

i want my friendship.. i want everything back like the past..

i want to go....

back to those days..........................................

- i'm updating agn -

2006-04-30T23:45:00.000-07:00

me and zhiyi with the two cups! hahas!

me and jialing!

look at weng! so cute~

weee!

all the gay look! look at gary!

updating agn..

alot of tins in mind but i'm nt sure wat or where shd i start.. FOC is over.. everyone's hard work paid off.. the moment i get my tag n shirts.. tt was my 1st lvl of relief n happiness.. during FOC the weather did nt help.. so there were quite alot of probs for games.. but we all pulled thru.. tt was my 2nd lvl of relief n happiness.. n the success of FOC was my last lvl of relief n the happiest part! cried enough.. but i enjoy tt moment of cry..

suddenly tot of some stuff..

sometimes i wonder if taking tins easy is a good or bad tin.. sth is just nt as easy as u tink.. u may try hard abt it.. but nth gets out..

it's nt easy to let go of sth.. hate keeping stuff to myself.. hate tolerating with tins without a reason.. hate it when i give in to everything but nth comes in return..

i dunno how to say it.. i appreciate everyone ard me.. everything anyone does for me.. i always wonder.. wonder how pple ard me feel.. wonder what they r tinking..

deep dwn i noe tt sth cant b helped.. mayb i shd just live with all these n treat tem as sth i shd encounter in life tt will make me stronger.. tink abt the others who r with me..

thanks..

but i nv stop wondering.. tinking...

it's hard on u.. going thru everything i'm going thru.. i appreciate all u have done for me.. all the tots u have spared for me.. i noe u cared for me.. cared for us.. i'm trying.. n i hope i will succeed.. i just wanna thank u for tolerating me.. my emo times n all.. thanks.. i love u..

- vodka -

2006-04-02T00:53:00.000-08:00

i was requested to update my blog once agn.. hahas.. so i shall update!

yes.. i'm drinking vodka nw.. but no worries.. it's just 6% alcoholic... no kick~ hahahahas! green apple flavour some more.. not bad lehs.. hahas

but ling says tt drinking too much will get breast cancer! omg.. hahahas..

i wan QQ sweet house! hahas.. anw it's a tang yuan stall at beach road.. we shd go n try one day.. i'm just so eager to eat the food in beach road.. golden mile..

the food is lk damn nice la.. hahas! went with huat weng shing n jj.. cox we went to recce the log stuff.. so ate dere.. but well the food was lk.. omg! nice~

i just cant stop tinking of the food dere... everything looks so nice.. we shall all go dere n eat one dere~ woOts

i wanna eat at beach road!!!!!

climbed bukit timah nature reserve today.. well.. we believed in ourselves n rubber turn out to b the first grp to reach the ending pt! yeah

it was tiring.. but still managable.. as compared to mawaii it's lk nth~ hahas.. saw monkeys dere! so cute la..

one of the monkey snatched the tourist's pringles~ hahahs.. den it climbed to the roof.. sat dwn.. opened the pringles n started eating... u shd really witness it.. it's damn cute!

hmm.. FOC is round the corner le.. 2 more wks? or mayb lesser.. i tink it's time we really gt on serious work..

i guess we improved thru the weeks.. improving still but we r still nt dere yet.. at times we will still take our own sweet time to get tins done..

have been learning the dance.. it's really hard on ben jess n weng.. to teach everyone the dance n try so hard to just get our attention...

to whichever GL who happened to read tis.. i'm nt trying to pinpoint anyone but i tink we shd give them our basic respect.. i mean they put in so much effort to cheoreograph the dance.. wat we need to do is just to make sure we try our best to come for all practices.. n to give tem our attention during practices.. we shdnt self declare break time or just do other stuff when we r supposed to prac for dance.. i guess tis is the basic tin tt we can do to show tem our appreciation.. i dun tink anyone of us will wan to malu in front of our freshies rite? GLs are all ONS~ n we are ZAI~ hahas.. so i really hope tt all of us can make it a point to come for practices as well as being serious in our dance.. we shall all jia you n give our best shot ya! cheerios..

it's 00:51 le but my boy's still working.. waiting for him to off work.. really hope tt he will get well soon.. and i'm really sorry to fool u yday.. it's april fool~ anw.. u din believe~ so doesnt matter.. i still love u loads kae! hahahas..

- still waiting -

- fun and sad -

2006-03-19T01:53:00.002-08:00

i'm waiting for my boy to knock off from work.. poor boy will only end work at 2 am.. by the time he reaches home it will be lk 3+?

FOC is round the corner.. we have all been arranged to our respective comms.. well.. i got into games comm.. although i chose welfare first.. i'm still quite happy tt i got into games! at least i get to scare the freshies and have fun!

we are having meetings lk almost everyday.. hahas.. shall we all stay in sch?! hahahas! bleahs.. but i'm sure tt we are all gonna enjoy ourselves in this process..

during the last trn.. we were supposed to fill the trench of the earthworm jim.. but when we were dere.. an uncle was dere much earlier den us n filled the trench for us..

4 hours under the hot sun.. my heart sank when i heard tt from huiling.. hais.. i'll make sure that even if i dun slp for the FOC i'll fill the trench in FOC..

nw some tiring yet fun things.. hahas.. the Dinner and Dance 2006.. it was a tiring one.. but definitely a wonderful experience.. hahas

after helping out for tt i realise how hard it is to b the organisers.. even us as helpers had hard time 'controlling' the crowd..

i hate it when we had to ask the year 3s to move inside so tt the programme can get started... but tey still start outside the ballroom.. take photos n stuff.. wad we said r lk useless?

hahahas.. but i'm sure when it's our batch.. similar things r gonna happen.. hahas.. time was v tight in the beginning but we still manage to pull thru.. yeah

i wrapped the prizes~~ hahahas... got style de wor~ hahahas... saw many hunks n beauty oso... hahas.. really look forward to our own D&D but tt's gonna b another 2 years.. hahas! woOts

it's 1.48 am le.. dar's knocking off at 2 am.. hmm.. but i'll wait for him! yeah..

dar.. tink rite nw we r all busy with our FOC stuff.. dun really have much time to spend with each other.. but i'm sure tt we can maintain our relationship and make FOC a success as well.. jia you darling! i'll give u all my support kae..

missing you...

i love you! =Pp

- reflect -

2006-03-08T01:28:00.000-08:00

time to update agn.. i want to change my blogskin.. but i'm still working on it.. it's gonna take some time.. =)

well.. i'm waiting for my boy to finishing packing his stuff for chalet tml.. time today seem to be passing v slowly.. n i seem to miss him so much.. though we just met tis afternoon...

is there something tt i'm tinking abt? or m i just bored? hahas.. =Pp

time passed so fast.. FOC is just round the corner.. n i'm gonna b a year 2 student by april.. fast isnt it?

i've known everyone in poly for almost a yr.. tt's really fast.. frens.. yesh.. these group of pple contribute so much to my life.. b it GLs or the gers in M01.. thanks pple..

frens have always been the group of pple whom i tink is v imprt to me.. i take frenship v seriously.. i duno how others view frenship.. but tt's my view..

but sometimes.. frenship just seems to be one thing that is so hard to catch hold of.. there r bound to b problems..

u never noe wat u have said or done can have an impact to another person.. it might just b a simple sentence or conversation to u.. but it might be affecting tt other person alot..

sometimes to avoid conflicts pple may choose to take it as a joke.. or just keep quiet.. it's nt easy to keep tins tt way.. but choices r just hard to make

it may be a form of giving in.. but giving in too much can be v tiring too.. u will start tinking.. y is it always tt way.. nv solved..

yes u may b trying v hard to keep it the frenship as it is.. maintain the relationship.. but it's saddening to find out tt no matter how hard u try.. there r still bound to b holes in b/w

before one prob is solved.. another one will b lining up just behind the previous one.. waiting for u to face it..

how r u gonna face it is another tin.. positively or negatively.. these things just come into ur mind n they r gonna stay there for some time...

mayb things will b simpler when u take everything as a joke..

sometimes it's just too big a joke...

it can be torturing when u cant even express it in a direct way.. the feeling's just horrible...

hahas.. tink i'm talking alot abt some rubbish today.. hahas.. sentimental ahs.. =Pp after talking so much.. my boy still haven finished packing~ hahas

maybe i shd add on something for him.. n let's hope he's finishing soon.. =)

it's nt easy to stay together with my heart next to urs.. n urs next to mine but i tink we r already close to tt.. wadeva i say may affect u in a way or another.. similarly wadeva u say or face is oso a part of my life.. everything tt we do r part of our lives.. i noe it's nt easy for u to be with me through wadeva i'm facing.. but i promise i will try my best to learn how to put away wat i shd put away n live with wat i'm having.. n having u with me is one big tin tt i'm living with nw.. n i will wanna continue living with tt in future.. big thank you to u my darling.. for listening to everything tt i have to say.. listening to all my unhappiness..

u r like a little precious treasure to me.. a priceless treasure indeed...

- i'm failing -

2006-02-28T22:53:00.000-08:00

yes.. i'm failing.. i will b failing my obc.. n well i'm gonna see teh agn nxt sem.. feel lk crying.. studied so much... but end up still dunno how to do.. how 'smart' of me..

well.. but wat can i do.. all is done n over.. mayb it isnt tt bad for me to retake? den i can make sure i get better grade for obc.. just tt i wun be graduating with the group of u.. hais..

one is dwn.. another one is coming.. i shall just focus on tt n nt tink of anything else.. hmmm.. can i? have to.. afterall i chose my own path n i shall continue to finished it no matter how hard it is.. yeah!

i'm supposed to b mugging cbo rite nw.. but i'm blogging.. how great.. hahas.. nvm.. tis is gonna b a fast one n i'll start the ball rolling.. i cant afford to fail cbo! yesh..

well.. huatose farted in my blog.. oh gosh! i better do same sterilisation... hmm.. but how m i gonna go abt doing it? hahahas.. write some nice n sweet tins!

have been staying till lk average 3 am everyday for the past 3 days.. cox i was mugging my obc.. but i wasnt alone.. cox there's tis sweet boy who accompanied me till late just cox i'm nt aslp..

hahas.. tis sweet boy happen to update his blog n wrote some nice tins abt me.. weeEe.. hehes.. y? cox i'm nice! yay~ okie... i noe pple reading tis r gonna scold me bhb agn..

but well.. tis sweet boy will nv tink tt i'm bhb... rite? *grins* i was so scared by him till i teared.. it was a bad experience.. but tt's when i find tt he is getting more n more imprt to me.. hehes.. wo hao xiang kan xing xing.. i wanna admire dose stars with tis sweet boy.. gazing at stars just make me feel so relaxed.. just by looking at the stars.. my smile will start to appear.. cox tey just make me feel happy.. so whenever i'm dwn.. i love looking at tem..

hahas.. well.. i did sth damn malu yday.. which make me red.. n warm.. tt is the most embarrassed tin i have ever done in my 17 years.. hahas.. i still dun understand y i did tt.. well.. tis sweet boy will noe wat i'm toking abt..

tis sweet boy is always so nice n caring to me.. he nv fail to cheer me up even if it means to just look at his face.. he might nt noe how to console me at times.. but i tink he nv fail to try.. n well each time he tries.. he will make it some how.. i love dose bedtime stories from him.. n mind you it's all original n just for me! hehes.. i love gazing stars with him.. i love his honey water.. though i cant make tasty honey water.. but i promise i'll learn... i love the pasta he cooked.. hahas.. talking abt it simply makes me drool.. (can i have some more? *grins*) it's all the small lil tins tt make me feel so touched and loved.. cox tis sweet boy is always so lovable to me! heEs..

alright.. enough of saying tis sweet boy.. yesh.. he's my boy.. hahas.. something i wanna tell my darling.. i noe IPC is hell for u.. just lk OBC was to me.. but no matter wat i tink u have done a great job so far.. the fact tt u dun lk chem.. n ur chem wasnt tt great as well.. i tink ur effort deserve u a distinction alright! i noe u have put in alot of effort by finding out wat u dunno from ur fren.. i'm upset tt i wasnt of much help to u.. but i'll give u my utmost support kae.. dun give up.. tink abt how much to have done to come so far n u will tink tt all dese r worthwhile.. dun worry abt ur paper on fri kae.. i'm sure u can do it.. just try ur best.. lk wat u told me.. trying ur best at least u wun feel tt u let urself dwn rite? it's the last bit.. so give it ur best shot kae? after cbo on thurs i'll pei u study IPC ya.. =) cheerios.. jia you kae.. i love you! *bao bao*

nw to my peeps.. i noe it's exam week.. everyone is stress.. well.. i m stressed!!!! huatose's stress~ but it's just the last bit.. so bare with it alright.. after tis we r gonna get enjoyment! weEe.. let us all give our best shot for all the rest of our papers kae! yeahs.. all the best pple.. love u all.. *bao bao* =Pp

- happy valentines' day! -

2006-02-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

14 February 2006.. hahas.. it's valentines' day~ woots..

it's our first valentines' day together.. simple yet enjoyable.. heartwarming..

waited for the time to meet you.. yet u surprise me by coming to sch with a big bag..

din expect anything.. but i was shocked by wat's is given to me.. it not only look pretty but it oso made me feel touched..

tot tt we shd go get the ticks for movie first.. but in ended up tt u have already booked them in the morning..

went for lunch at sushi tei.. sum where both of us have never been to.. yet u did homework by checking the place.. even had a back up location..

went taka but couldnt find.. so you went on to the back up location... paragon.. hahas.. i was just so pleased by everything..

wanted to foot the bill.. but u refused! hahas... selfish~ cox u dun let me have the chance to pay for anything.. =Pp

went on with movie at plaza sing.. fun with dick and jane.. hahas.. the movie is simply so damn hilarious.. hahas.. laughed alot... i guess you enjoyed the movie too.. =Pp

yes.. then we headed home.. met your cousin on the bus n i found out where u bought the present from! hahas..

it was a short n simple date.. but i tot it was full of memories and thoughts.. the thoughtful side of u..

din expect u to really kinda plan things out tt much... booked ticks.. find the place to have lunch..

thanks for everything! i enjoyed every single min spent wif you.. not only yesterday.. but literary every min with ur company..

it was simple n sweet.. it touched my heart and i feel blessed.. ur efforts make me melted and feel loved.. ur company made me feel protected.. once again.. thanks darling.. i love you.. =)

had another shocking news today.. make me tink about hypocrites.. it's bad to know tt there r simply so many hypocrites surrounding you yet u take them as ur close frens...

i tot it was v saddening.. n deceiving.. it's scary to find tt pple ard u are with u nt with their true heart.. but to get sth done..

but well.. i guess all tt's nt imprt anymore.. but it's the frenship these pple have already built tt matters.. after so much time spent.. mayb all tt r once untrue.. r true nw.. hopefully..

though it's weird to see them n tink of all dese.. but all r in the past.. 'let bygones be bygones'.. wat matters most is the happiness everyone's having..

thanks to all my frens who have been so true to me... esp huiling.. gls.. 4E4 peeps.. and of cox my boy.. =) i appreciate all tt is done.. =)

- thanks to all of you -

2006-02-09T07:25:00.000-08:00

ihalf an hour before my birthday ends! hahas... this year's bday is a simple one.. yet a happy one i guess... half half ba...

i really wanna thank everyone who came to my party the other day... all the GLs who came.. n of cox XUEFANG! hahas.. she's the only non-poly fren who came.. thanks ger~

i'm really glad to half all of you with me for my birthday.. all the GLs.. i think tey made my birthday party a very 'successful' one~ hahas.. thanks alot..

so many pple bombarding my place~ woOts.. that's damn cool can.. hahas.. until u all have to sit along the corridor.. cooL~ hahas... my family said tt u guys look as if u r having sum kinda serious meeting! hahas.. deceiving ah~

too bad no one tonned tt day... i was kinda disappointed.. BUT i'm happy enough tt u guys came.. the fact tt u all shd b tired after open hse.. hahas... thanks for the present too! =)

today's the actual day of my bday.. nth much though.. i'm sick.. cant go out for nice food~ sadded... medicine is my bday present frm the doc... ( i was forced to go =X)

with the happy birthday from so many of my frens.. GLs.. classmates.. i'm really v happy.. all the msges from my sec sch frens! jas henry huat kevin gladys.. thanks peeps!

although i was kinda disappointed n upset tt tey come my hse tt day.. but i'm glad tt tey greeted my happy bday!

hahas... jessica called me to wish me happy birthday.. hahas.. den hk n some other guys sang me bday song thru the phone~ hahas... damn comical.. but i like... i really appreciate it kae~ thanks pple~ u guys make me feel lk updating my blog to show how happy i m nw~

my mummy sent my happy birthday msg too! n she said ' happy birthday to my sweet heart ' so sweet of her... she bought sunflower n a necklace for me too... i love u mummy!

i just wanna say tt i really enjoyed tis year's bday... thanks to all the pple who made my bday such a interesting one~ i love all of u! =)

though the video and sound clip had prob.. i still managed to see it after u sent me through msn.. i really love it alot.. it's simple.. yet meaningful.. it's never tiring to listen or see them repeatedly.. cox it means alot to me.. i appreciate all that u have done for me.. never forget times u were dere for me.. i love the times.. love the things.. n most imprtly... love the person who did dese =)

thanks mummy! i love the necklace and of cox the sunflower! yeah~ hahas.. i love you!

gucci perfume from my cousin~ woOts nice smell.. cool bottle.. bracelet from LSCT GLs.. thanks peeps! crystal necklace from auntie! hahas... nice~ thanks!

wOoTs... machiam extreme make over.. from jamie shumin n nexa.. thanks gers!

hehehes! cap from my poly erzi... shing~ hahas... first time pple bring me along when getting my present.. new experience ahs.. but i love the cap! thanks son! =)

- somethings may be diff -

2005-11-15T22:53:00.000-08:00

i'm hit by sth bad today.

i teared. i'm scared. i'm worried.

i dun wan anything to happen. my life's gonna be different if it really happens.

i've no idea what i shd do.

the 'hais' i hear. the tears i see. made me feel helpless.

but i cant stay the way i m nw. i gotta make sum changes.

but will i be able to? i noe i need to stay strong. but all dese makes my heart heavy.

i'm loss of words.

back to my updates!

2005-11-12T18:18:00.000-08:00

first i shall update abt the Tara outing and BBQ i had for the class outing..

Tara's outing was at KBox. well we had alot of fun singing. i simply love singing. hahas.. took some fotos too.

from that outing we created some scandals. whahahas... that's the forte of all the GLs.. well shall i say the scandals?

nvm.. tink almost everyone noes. so i shall not publicise before i gt bashed ya? hahas

nxt is the BBQ

the outing was held in elwin's house. hahas. near the end of it. we drank absolute vodka.

hahas. me jaime and van had red faces after drinking! hahas. it was damn shiok lo.

we tried vodka + whisky + sprite. it was nice. u guys shd try it. some of us ended up slightly drunk. hahas.

but we still managed to reach home safe and sound.

well i finally went tanning! together with jas lek pei ter min. the tanning finally made me look slightly darker. just abit.

at least my arms 2 toning is much better. hahas! i like.

we went to palawan at sentosa. that day was quite packed. hahas. it was deepavali so we saw a lot of indians.

we buried lek! the brave one who volunteered to b buried! hahas

and they seemed to enjoy themselves in the waters. woOo.

hahas. that day was the first time i applied so much banana boat on my body. hahas. it smells disgusting. but it helps sum how.

min's banana boat is diluted can. aftertt it spread n caused jas's one to b diluted. oh gosh!

dere were so many pple in the toilet so ended up bathing in the open shower. it wasnt bad though.

on hari raya, we had steamboat at jas's hse, to celebrate her bday. the food was nice. the accompany was nice.

the sabotaging was nice too. i bought a cake for her. the cake was disfigured. they ate the fruits. cut the cake into half. ate the sponge cake n left the cream.

with the cream, we started a dog fight. hahas. true enough. we all smelt lk cream. hahas

now abt GL. i was in the first group for the games. most of us met up on sunday to get the flour n stuff. hahas.

we went to Sheng Siong. hahas. cheapos. the funny part was we din noe tt ben stayed in Bukit Panjang. n ended up asking him to meet at CCK den we headed for BP.

hahas. we were cursed by him. but well we had fun smiling at the walls rites? hahas. since ben live the nearest we made him bring the eggs home.

hahas. went to yoshinoya for lunch. took so many fotos. woots. we 3 gers were so enthu. jiahui felicia and ME! n ben n jeremy were the photographer!

they ought to feel honoured. hahas.

soon it was trn time agn. had our games. encountered some probs due to the change in weather.

although the games seemed to b abit screwed up. it's still quite successful i guess. at least we get the fellow GLs to play.

nt all of them played all the games but at least all stations were played.

from there, we learn alot of tins i guess. we learnt tt we shd have back up in case of bad weather, to organise and manage our time properly.

learnt that we shd nt have such big diff in dist b/w 2 stations. during debrief, we had praises and sum 'criticism' not xactly criticism just sum suggestions i guess.

the SGLs helped us alot. although it was a perfect one. the still prasied us for our effort n creativity. yeah!

after the debrief, we had to clean up the place. that's when i actually feel the care my fellow GLs have for one another.

they came n helped us wif the cleaning although it wasnt part of their jobs. i'm touched. really.

thanks to dose who helped us. huiling huilin yide lye huat shing clement daphne weng gracia ruifeng kiap joel.

sorry if i missed out any of u. but i'm reli grateful! thanks! love u all to bits. hahas. dun worry i will help u guys when ur turn comes!

i have to say i really haf a bunch of caring frens. and they made my life more enriching! thanks peeps!

- i'm back once again -

2005-11-12T17:04:00.000-08:00

i'm finally back to update my blog.. sum how i tink i simply have problems logging in n blog at nite... it just dun seem to work... =X

right.. firstly i'm supposed to do a weird tin.. hahas... asked by huiling..

chew wei passed it to huiling.. nw she passed to me n i have to pass this game on.. here it goes...

rules of the game:

1) post 5 weird/random stuff about yourself.

2) At the end, list the names of 5 people who you want next to this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in their blog and tell them to read your blog for rules.

5 weird/ random stuff about me:

1) i hate to choose. cox i've always felt that it's a v troublesome tin n wadeva decision i make always dun seem to work well.

2) i love to go IKEA! i can simply find nice n cute stuff dere to decorate my table or room. to make me feel more lively!

3) i can laze around in my bed for more den a hour. until my fren's saying that i'm damn lazy.

4) i can be a very capricious at times. i can feel lk eating sth at one moment. the next moment i see it i dun feel lk eating le. but sumhow i still noe how to control myself.

5) i love GL to bits. that's the place where i relax myself, learn alot of valuable tins frm my fellow frens, getting support from them, and make alot of good frens!

List of 5 persons i wana tag:

1) jasmine - the zoo girl =Pp
2) jaime - sweets
3) jason - the bully
4) gladys - the blurry
5) shu min - the strong one!

hahas! done! i shall be the shy one den! =Pp

- long lost updates - =Pp

2005-10-27T23:46:00.000-07:00

T is for TARA!

oOo.. i'm finally blogging yeah? hahas.. many pple's complaining tt my blog is stagnating.. just one word to the reason y i din.. 'LAZY' =X

i'm super lazy to update.. plus sumtimes tis blogger just refuses to work...

maybe i shd start updating my peeps.. haven been doing much tis holis.. except giving tuition trainings n camp.. but well i still gain alot from wat i have done..

trainings tot my alot abt working as one.. unity.. taking initiative n caring for each other.. although dese tins haf been wif mi since i was in nass.. but well.. it's enriching still

tinking of the days when i was still in nass.. 4E4 was one of the best class i've ever had.. i learnt to take initiative to help out for certain stuff.. i learn to b united n work as one.. most importantly it's all my frens who have been wif me all dese times.. tey tot me how to open up myself..

i have to sae that i reli love my peeps in 4E4 n treasure all the times we've been together to gt tins done.. b it performance.. competition.. we just come together.. encouraged each other n make sure we give our best.. i just miss dose days..

other than 4E4.. guzheng ensemble let mi have the opportunity to learn to lead my juniors.. my fellow group mates.. i learn to get tins done fast.. solve probs at the shortest possible time.. n to coordinate wif pple we r working wif..

really a big thank you to all the pple who have been with me.. even until nw..

- jasmine, gladys, henry, jerome especially.. thanks for being with me even until nw.. when we r all going diff directions.. i love u guys! -

in GL.. i worked together wif my fellow GLs during camp.. hahas.. get tins done fast.. work fast think fast.. hahas..

during Mawai camp.. i was wif my TARA team mates.. gosh tey r really nice pple to b wif.. hahas.. we cheer together.. eat together.. think together.. coming out wif a v funny skit indeed..

before the camp i always tot tt sum of the SGLs r reli ridiculous... but after tis camp.. i got to noe tem more.. pple lk ming hui.. she was in TARA too.. n i noticed tt she wasnt how i tot she was..

i guess it's part of the SGLs job to train us.. i tot agn n tink tt our seniors reli care alot for us.. make sure tt we gt the best.. even our LTC n ALTC.. tey scold us for a reason.. nt for sum stupid stuff.. it just require sum of our time to reli tink over it before u will noe..

well.. i'm v determined to stay in GL n make sure tt the FOC is gonna b a v fruitful one for the freshies.. yeah.. go GLs.. all the way!

my second sem is gonna start real soon.. i haf to work hard.. n make sure i get better results nxt sem.. although i noe it's kinda hard.. wif the OBC n CBO.. hahas... but wadeva it is i haf to try my best.. din do tt well tis sem so.. jia you ba.. i wan to get into uni! so i'll work on it! =)

but sths r still nt as good as it seems to be... it may look good on the surface.. but deep inside.. dere's still a kinda assurance needed.. wat is done is done.. just hope tt it's reli worth to b done.. it's insecure.. however it always needs two hands to clap.. if one hand wans to clap n the other one doesnt.. dere's nth the one can do.. except to wait for tis v day when the other wishes to.. it's tiring waiting.. during the period of waiting.. it might slowly turn into a habit.. when it turns into a habit.. it's easier to forget.. it's a matter of it's will.. just hope tt the one will slow down its steps.. turn back n feel tt sth has been waiting for v long.. the feeling to wait is always not pleasant.. dun let it wait too long... i guess it's so...

- blog's finally working! -

2005-10-01T16:49:00.000-07:00

after so many weeks... my blog is finally functioning and my blogskin is changed! wEe~ hahas... duno if it's nice lehs... hahas... so i'm finally updating my blog! hahas...

- huiling - hahas.. i update le ahs! hahas... happy? whahas!

hm... yups.. xams r all over.. enjoying my holis nw... working as a tutor? hahas... part time tutor... dun suspect my ability hor! hahas... afterall i'm just teaching primary sch kids... haha.. but tey r so cute... rite nw i'm waiting for my "death date" n tt is the day of the release of my 1st sem results... gosh! duno if i'm gona pass all... hahas.. but i guess i will.. hahas

hahas.. had been having GL trn.. tuitions n sum performances during tis holis... hahas.. well GL trn was tiring.. sweaty.. yet it's still v fun... hahas.. can help mi jian fei oso.. hahas.. had trn on wed.. went swimming on thurs n gym today! hahas... gd achievement ahs~ hahas... i'm gona do the same tin for the nxt few wks.. hahas.. shall c if i'll slim dwn... bleahs~

tink 1M01 is having a gathering~ woOhoO.. hahas.. i'm looking forward to tt kae! hahas.. i give u pple my fullest support! tell mi if u guys nid my help~ hahas...

well... i wan my shopping.. hahas.. so muz continue n teach more tuition.. hahas.. gona haf a camp on the 17-19 Oct.. looking forward to it? but kinda lazy... hahas.. but i'm gona chiong all the way for GL... =)

watched the last few episodes of the channel u show at 10 pm on wed thurs n fri... it's a nice show indeed.. but tt show did taught me sth... i tink tt it's quite meaningful too.. :

- love is never fair.. never expect to get back the same amount of love u give to the person u love.. instead hope for the best.. hope tt he will b happy... as long as he's happy.. everything's worthwhile.. -

- exams exams exams imu -

2005-09-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

woOo... haven been updated for lk duno how long... hahas... sorry pple... was kinda lazy due to all the mugging... all i can do nw is study study and still study...

today was my first paper.. well at least i'm one paper dwn... but i haf lk 3 more papers to go? wad the hell~! hahas... tp already finished all their papers... enjoying their holidays nw? make mi jealous only la! hahas... nvm... muz persevere.. *oh god i'm psychoing myself- self consolation? =X*

feeling lazy nw... after one paper.. hahas... as if i'm done wif all my exams... i wan SHOPPING... i wan MOVIE.. i haf damn alot of tins i wana do.. other den STUDYING~ siansation..

went to sch wif ger todae.. hahas... we wore the same shirt, carried the same bag! n mind u... it's by coincidence! hahas... great minds tink alike.. tt's y.. hahas... we simply looked ALIKE.. hahas...

gona start mugging agn ltr.. just here to make my blog look slightly lively.. hahas... cox the whole tin seem to b stoning..

- i wana noe wat u r tinking.. wadssup wif all dese..

suddenly hope to haf him with me.. suddenly feel lk i miss him alot.. -

- mixed feelings -

2005-08-19T23:50:00.000-07:00

me and huiling. taken during gl trn~

hey pple! hahahas.. haven been blogging for quite sum time... tis wk was just too packed... finally done wif all my proj n presentations... nxt i gotta focus on my tests n sem xams le... shucks! =X

had my 2nd gl trn... woOo.. it's damn fun can.. hahas.. but we will go voiceless sum dae... mi n simone led the cheer.. but both of us cant hear ourselves.. hahahas.. i simply love all the fun mans... wEeEeEeEe.....!!!!!!!!! come from life science famous in np! come from a very special family! hoi~ fight for glory~ fight for victory~ fight for a spirit nv seen b4~ LIFE SCIENCE! LIFE SCIENCE! all the way~ we lk it here we lk it here we call ourselves a home a home home sweet home~ LIFE SCIENCE~! =X

had hip hop todae.. hahas... last lesson before attachment.. it's damn fun lors.. although i kena a blue black on my knee nw.. hahas... but it's reli v enjoyable... make mi hip.. make mi high~ hahas.. =X

met glad n went to bugis.. hahas.. shucks.. saw nth but more n more tins tt i wana buy! my god.. tis is madness lors... no money still wana buy tins.. hahas.. saw the envelopes.. the colours are damn attractive.. hahas.. wanted to buy but duno for wat reason oso.. so well.. i muz resist to temptation! hahas... save money first.. tis mth is super jialat... so i seriously cant spend redundant money~ but i wan movie!!

took fotos~ woOo... hahas.. damn nice.. hahas.. haven taken nice pics for quite sum time~ hahas... i just love taking fotos! oOpPs...

- long day - missing him -

2005-08-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

went to sch today! it's saturday can! i still gotta go back to sch for tt pathetic physio lect... but nt so bad lars.. at least i finished my IPC presentation todae.. pheW~ at least i'm lk one down.. nt so bad.. but i'm still left wif quite alot... n all dese simply freak mi out mans!

nth much today.. was supposed to go for a CA event but in the end it's called off i tink.. so went home.. doing my IPC prac report.. but looks lk my head is becoming bigger n bigger.. headache siahs...

i'm having the shopping mood n the movie crave agn... oh gosh... how?! sumone pls slap mi... hahahahas... feel lk watching the maid.. but hahas... even if i watch i'm nt gona watch at nite... cox i tink i'll freak myself out... hahas... but cant lars... i super broke can! hahas... left with just lk a few bucks for the rest of the month... kinda pathetic.. but nvm... i shall c if i can survive wif tt.. if nt... i'll find other ways bas.. hahas.. seriously feel lk shopping siahs... got damn alot of tins i wan.. hahas... oOppPs.. nt suppose to tink of spending money~ hahas

nxt wk's gona b damn packed for mi.. open my diary.. flip the the page for nxt wk.. n u will go wOoO... cox it's full till i cant fit in anymore tins.. hahas... tests.. presentations.. training.. rehearsal.. hahas.. gona b quite busy... but i tink i shd b able to pass it.. yeah =)

yes.. looks lk i'm missing him.. waiting now.. mayb he has fallen aslp..? looks lk i'm really starting to miss him at times.. is tis supposed to b sth gd or bad?

- i'm missing him.. -

- thinking alot -

2005-08-08T18:46:00.000-07:00

looking into the mirror... looking for sth ahead..

went thru intensive thinking? hahas... intensive seem to b too harsh a word to use.. well... tot of alot of tins.. trying hard to figure many tins out.. BGR studies my other activities..

i'll never be able to enter his world.. if tis is gona continue.. nth's gona allow mi to step into tt world... but u alwiz seems to b entering my world when i'm abt to give up... we can gt very close at times.. but we can be v cold at times.. i will never noe wat's gona happen next.. i simply dont see any light ahead of us.. u just seem so unpredictable.. i feel insecure.. i noe we r still nth but frens.. but i dun feel a sense of security outa wat u told mi.. y? i'm nt doubting.. i dun wana b doubting.. wat i wana do is to put the solid amt of trust in all dese.. i wana trust all tt u sae.. i nv changed the habit.. cox it's too hard for mi to change.. tinking tis way... doing tins tis way... has longed become a habit for mi... whether i will change tis habit or nt.. no one noes.. even i myself duno... guess time will show everything bas.. i'm waiting.. waiting for u.. waiting for tins to change.. but i noe... things just might not change bw us... sumtimes i tink maeb it's best for us to remain tis way? but up till nw.. it's better for tins to b tis way bas.. although it din turn out the way i tot it will b.. but sumhow i din xpect such tins to happen.. however i haf to sae tt i reli enjoyed the times we spend together.. dose r one of the most memorable ones for mi.. thanks for leaving sweet memories for mi.. i reli appreciated it.. =)

nw abt my studies.. i've to reli cope n catch up wif all the tins rite nw.. i'm lk left wif a few wks to semestral xams.. oh man.. kill mi~! hahas.. haven been studying for the past few wks lars.. since the common tests.. jialat lors.. i gotta start real soon.. before i gt all the shity results agn.. i cant afford to flung ath.. i cant afford nt to do well.. but i'm taking up tutoring as well.. as in I'M the tutor.. hahas.. dun luff pple.. i noe it's kinda unbelieveable.. but ya.. i'm taking up... as a chinese tutor.. one K2 n one P5.. hahas.. kinda xtreme.. i'll try bas.. haven started anyone yet.. waiting for info from ger.. hahas...

yes.. i'm happy tt i got into the LSCT gl... trn is starting tis wed.. i'm gona train hard n xcel in it.. hahas... nyaa is another one tt i'm gona work for.. although i haf alot of time to complete it.. i hope to gt my nyaa by the end of my 3 yrs in np.. tt's my goal bas.. hahas.. looks lk i haf alot ahead of mi... looking ahead bas.. hopefully i'm gona haf a bright one? whahas.. a nice one bas.. most imprtly one tt i hope i wun waste my 3 yrs here.. n tt i'm gona gt into university ultimately.. aiming for the cert of merit as well... can i do it? hahas.. tt's still a v big question mark.. but.. ' wen!! wake up n starting ur engine going mans! ' hahas.. yeah.. i gotta start before i forgt.. hahas.. =)

i'll stop here.. take care peeps.. =) thanks to dose who haf been wif mi.. =) i appreciated it..!

- it seemed so real yet hard to believe.. -

- somethings i just don't know -

2005-08-05T15:31:00.000-07:00

look at the stupid face of mine.. hahas.. tis is taken during homecoming 2005.. cheers=)

haven been blogging for sumtime.. at least a wk? but nvm... i'm back.. hahas.. have been busying with sum stuffs ba.. went for the interview to b a LSCT gl.. took up nyaa as well.. guess wat.. i got thru the interview.. hahas.. so happy.. but i tink all of us went in.. wif dese tins.. i tink i'll committ my time in all of tem n my studies of cox.. i just wana do it gd.. plus my CT wasnt gd at all... gt all D+ for MB, C for Physio, C+ for IPC and A+ for MST1.. reli depressing mans.. but nvm.. work harder! =)

watched charlie n the chocolate factory.. it was kinda nice bas.. but dere's damn alot of singing.. hahas.. it was funny oso lars.. n it end off wif a happy ending.. i love such endings.. =) make everyone feel happy oso..

r we getting closer? i guess sumhow we r bas.. but wat act is the meaning of 'closer'? closer in wat sense? well.. i dun mind dese tins.. seriously i'm kinda ok wif all dese... i just dun wish to feel the same lk how i felt in the past agn.. i'm oso putting my focus on my studies.. n nw tt i haf the gl trn.. n nyaa.. i'm gona put my focus on dose tins as well.. lk wat i said earlier.. i wana do it gd.. i'm nt tinking n asking for ath.. how much do we nid each other? we noe for ourselves bas.. sumtimes i reli wonder wat's all dese gona turn out to be.. will history repeat itself? i'm nt doubting ath.. i'm just wondering.. wondering wat's gona happen the next moment.. next min.. next sec.. i seriously dun haf a ans in my mind.. i'm nt tinking.. if we can maintain lk how we r nw.. i'm more den happy le bas.. at least none of us feel the stress.. i'm trying to b ahead of u.. cox i wana noe wat will happen.. wadeva it is.. i'm prepared~..... prepared for the worst..

- y do u always enter my world when i'm about to give up... -

- i'm still dere.. feeling the same way -

2005-07-28T22:44:00.000-07:00

finally finished my 'mr fighter' vcd.. it's reli nice.. touching... it shows the kinda frenship.. love tey haf among one n another.. tey can do ath to let the one they love b happy.. even if it means tt tey r nt together.. it's just the 'as long as u r happy, i'm happy' attitude.. most of time tt's wat love shd b abt bas.. u dun haf to haf the person beside.. u just nid to b able to c their smiles.. c tem happy.. it's gd enuff.. nt oli on love relationships.. if life many a times u r influenced by the pple u mixed wif.. to mi.. i wana c pple ard mi happy.. cox when tey r happy.. i'll oso feel the joy n b happy... maeb i shd sae tt i can contented v easily.. cox i wan the pple ard mi to lead the most carefree life.. n haf the least probs.. maeb i'm asking for too much.. but tt's wat i hope to c.. many a times we cant predict wat's gona happen the next moment.. since i cant.. we shd treasure wat we have at tt point in time n be contented wif wat we r holding on to..

the songs of the drama r oso v nice.. sum of the lyrics r reli good.. n make mi tink of many tins.. lk the song yuan dian... when i listen to part of the lyrics.. i'll cry lors.. =X cox it's jux so true n i feel tt i'm hit by it bas.. '我已经无法承受没有结果的结果在爱的洪流我只能继续去漂流有太多太多考验还有太多抱歉放不下我在想着你你想着谁寻寻觅觅我们终于又回到了原点' the lyrics just hit mi bas.. it means tt 'i can no longer accept an ending that has no ending.. i can only continue floating on the surface of the love flow of water.. too many challenges to face.. too much apologies r made.. who will u be tinking of when i'm tinking of u.. after so much searching.. we r still back to square one..' ( sorry guys.. my el sux.. so pls bare wif it ya.. =X ) so tot tt it's quite meaningful.. love is nt abt making apologies.. n nt just facing challenges.. but how to face n overcum dese challenges together..

- i lose to u.. totally lost.. i'm always giving in.. i wun hesitate to do ath for u.. as long as it's a favour from u.. i'll all ways to do n help u.. yea.. i nv fail to do so.. it has become a kinda habit for mi bas.. right from the beginning.. i'm lidat.. cox i wan u to gt the best.. i wan u to b happy.. treating u tt way has become more lk a habit den it's cox of my character.. tis habit has been wif mi for lk 1 yr plus... i nv notice that tis has become my habit.. i nv knew it will be one that is hard for mi to change.. but m i going to kick tis habit? well... i cant ans tis qn nw bas... mayb time will help mi to kick tis habit bas.. as time passes n everything bcums vague.. the habit will slowly b gone i guess.. just a matter of whether i wan tis habit to b gone forever... guess nth xcept my heart will noe... -

time for sum farni stuff.. hahas.. went for the LSCT GL recruitment ydae.. hahas.. tink i screwed the tin up.. so funny mans.. i just keep repeating myself.. saeing tt i'm sociable.. hahahs.. my god.. i cldny ans one of the qns.. i was asked to name the names of the interviewers... hahas... well i dun rmb... so dose whom i dun rmb i just sae tt i dun rmb.. hahas.. i find it so funny... n i said the superman cheer... hahas.. cox tt's the easiest n funniest cheer.. hahas.... well i dun tink i will gt in.. cox i dun even noe how will i noe if i got in... so ya... forgt it bas.. take it as an xperience yeah? hahas... =X

- i'm still there.. feeling the same way.. -

- choices in life -

2005-07-23T00:34:00.000-07:00

had a gathering just nw wif 1G.. hahas.. well.. in turn out quite well... we celebrated huat's bdae.. hahahas.. fun! took fotos! yay.. hahahas.. i went ard taking wif everyone.. but i still left out erzi n huat n swee hoon... omg.. blur mi... i shall make it up the nxt time den.. nvm.. although we met up for just lk awhile.. but it's fun.. hahas.. i haven seen them for lk duno how.. so once we c each other we were lk.. oOo.. 'i lk very long nv c u le lehs!' hahas.. i'm lk.. ya.. but well we c each other nw! hahahas.. n guess wat.. i'm reli fat..! the fotos i took were so ugly.. omg... cant stand it! all my fats.. hahas.. i'm determined to slim dwn! no choco! hahahas.. yeah tt's the way~ muz muz muz reduce weight!

went to meet jas to gt all the flour n stuff.. but well.. we din gt all.. so tml gona continue bas.. hahas.. n ate at the east link mall.. den i went over to meet the pple agn... hahas.. tey were lk all stoning dere.. my god.. hahas.. so i walked home wif rick.. hahas.. it's alwiz lidat.. when we haven been seeing each other for long.. n we met.. hahas.. we will tok alot.. i sound lk a old grandmother though.. but ya.. he told mi alot of tins is nt a matter of choice cox sumtins we haf no choice.. mayb wat he sae is true bas..

- Fats is making mi go crazy! -

sumhow i feel tt many tins in life.. we r given a choice.. it's just a matter of whether we wana accept the choice or nt.. i duno if i right by saying tis.. but i just feel tt way... ya no doubt we shd live for the happiness n joy.. however if the joy n happiness is just for a moment.. den wat's the point... shdnt we be looking n working towards the joy tt's gona last for eternity? it's true tt dere r bound to b sum unhappy tins in life.. but i tink life is still nt as bad.. dere r still tins tt can be left as happy n meaningful memories.. tins tt r worth remembering bas.. it's imprt to learn to remember the gd tins n forgt abt the bad.. tt's wat i alwiz tell myself bas.. to remember the gd side of a person n forgt abt the bad side of him or her.. tt will make our memories more memorable i guess... n having such sweet n nice memories r reli nice.. since we r given a choice in life.. y r we nt making a right one.. sumhow we alwiz choose the wrong way out.. i jux feel tt if we r given a chance to treasure n make gd use of our lives.. den do wat we shd do bas.. everyone has a diff mentality.. but well.. life is alwiz full of choices.. n i simply hate to make choice! =X

- Lotsa choices to be made in life -

- finally -

2005-07-22T00:19:00.000-07:00

wOooO... i finally finished all my common test! i feel so relaxed.. but ya.. i tink my results r gona suck to the core.. but well.. i cant do ath le.. xcept to do beta the nxt time i guess... maeb i wasnt reli focussing tis time rd? though i failed tis time.. maeb i shd try agn for my semestral xams.. n i haf to.. i ought to... ya... let's nt tok abt tis le bas.. it's jux so... anti climax~ hehehes..

I LOVE GINGER BREAD MAN! it's just so cute lars.. hahas.. can u imagine~ hahas.. the cookie version of ginger bread man turn into one tt's is totally out of shape.. hahas.. but woo.. it's so cute! fat one.. hahahahas.. look lk mi? whahahas.. yeah all the fat ones~ den the one made wif the dough was v nice.. hahahas.. perfect~ hahahas.. cute lors.. hahahas.. made alot of stuff todae... n i simply enjoyed myself.. met up wif ger after my paper.. had BK tok alot.. hahas.. n oso bought all the ingredients.. hahas.. so much lars.. the both of us took cab back to ger's hse.. hahas.. cab cab n cab... hahas.. so we started wif cookies~ cookies cookies cookies~ so we were done wif all the mixing n stuff.. hahas.. well.. i'm clumsy enuff to spill the sugar n flour.. n alot of tins? hahahas... den we starting baking tem... n guess wat.. when we were jux warming up the oven n was abt to put the cookies in... 'BOM!' the oven tripped! hahhas... it din haf the bom sound lars.. jux the sound tt it's tripped~ hahas... n there was smoke lors.. piangs.. damn scary lars.. the both of us were lk... oh no... wat happened.. n we din dare to open the cover... we stood lk damn far from the oven.. wif a stick in our hand.. wanting to open the cover.. lame lars..
hahas.. but well.. i was the brave one n opened it.. oh god the smoke stinks can! hahas.. so we were lk shit.. how?! den pia cab down to my hse... n carry my mum's 'oven' to her hse... whahahaas.. the taxi driver so damn funny.. hahas... the name winsome became win-some hahas.. n he started scolding tt guy.. both of us were lk luffing lk mad lors... n the 'professor' tin.. oh gosh! ger u noe wat i'm toking abt~ hehehe... so we went back.. n found tt act the whole hse gt tripped... n we were lk.. wat the~ n we rushed to gt the oven.. hahas.. but we tried her oven.. n it still din work so it was ok lars.. so we starting making others.. the banana muffins.. den the fruit tarts den the choco muffins.

- GINGER BREAD MAN! -

hm.. had sum tok wif lek.. n another one wif ger.. n found out sth tt's v true abt love..

'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.'

tink it's from a bible.. well.. but it's kinda true.. reading tt makes my heart calm... cox i find tt loving him has turned to b a kinda burden for mi.. i'm tired.. v tired indeed.. no matter wat happens.. it will just nv turn out well.. even if i wan it too.. dun tink dere'll b a chance for it to turn out well.. cox i will nv let it happen agn.. if i noe it's nt gona b a happy ending.. den y ever let it start? i've had enuff of all the tinking.. all the indecisiveness of mine tt alwiz make mi at wits' ends.. but i still love him.. well.. i'm nt sure if it love of just lk.. i simply still haf the feelings towards him.. kinda strong one.. but i just wan it to stay dere.. n nt go any further.. it's enuff.. reli.. cox i dun wan history to repeat bas.. so.. frm nw on.. yeah.. it's gona stay as it is..

- Love should be a kind of joy rather than a kind of burden -

- to jas(ger) : i feel so much beta after telling u the tins.. but i'm sorry for being so immature.. i noe it's nt rite to feel tt way.. sumhow my feeling my mind just din go the rite way.. i reli felt v guilty cox it jux wasnt rite for mi to feel tt way.. well.. everyone will haven an unique person in heart.. den y muz i b so affected.. mayb i'm still nt mature enuff in tis kinda tins.. but i reli felt so much beta after telling u.. at least i din hide ath frm u~ hehehe.. but thanks ger! i love u so much thanks for bringing mi the fun.. n ya sharing sum nice tins wif mi! hugs! sistas forever ya! =) -

- to ting rui: reli thanks for the encouragement u haf given mi the past few days.. when we were all having common tests.. hahas.. encouragement from frens is more den ath.. hahas.. woOo.. thanks alot.. n oso thanks for clearing my IPC doubts.. the pulling of humans ya.. hahas.. tt was a nice way to xplain it~ hahas... u cleared all my doubts mans! thanks.. =) take care fren!=) -

- war of the 'plants' -

2005-07-11T22:46:00.000-07:00

WAR OF THE WORLDS! yeah.. tt's the movie i watched.. jux came back after watching.. nearly missed it.. cox he couldnt make it at last min.. well i bought the tickx.. but he has more imprt tins to do.. looking after his grandma.. i act. told him tt it was ok.. i'll find another person to watch wif.. but he refused.. n called his mum.. duno if they quarrelled or did he gt scolding.. but i tink more or less dere's abit bas.. (feel abit bad act) told him tt it's reli ok.. but he managed to make it in the end.. so ya.. we watched it.. guess he was freezing inside.. hahas.. lucky i remembered my sweater.. wOo.. hehes.. the movie is reli nice.. heartwarming too.. cox it's a happy ending when everyone in the family met each other.. so nice.. i had tears in my eyes.. but well.. it din roll dwn.. hahas.. but 'aliens' were lk.. woW~ all the blood vessels.. n stuff.. my god.. tey could even blow a person up.. until tey r left with nth but their clothes! it's horrible~ it's super nice.. tt's all i've gotta sae.. haven watched? u should watch it! hahas..

din do much todae.. xcept my maths.. hahas.. den went to watch movie le.. so tml will the start of everything.. gona b mugging from tml onwards.. if nt i'm gona fail my modules.. which obviously i dun wan to.. hahas.. yeah.. jia you! but i guess i'm abit hungry nw.. n i shall find sum food.. hahas.. ciaos!

- to everyone's having xams or doing projects.. JIA YOU! ur hardwork will pay off... YEAH! -

- shopping - neoprints -

2005-07-09T20:02:00.000-07:00

had my microbio test todae... well i tink i screwed tis up too.. dere were tins tt were frm the prac manual.. tins tt were frm other chapts as well.. so i din noe how to ans quite alot of the qns.. when we came out of the LT my classmates were all discussing abt the ans... but i was lk.. er i dun tink i wrote sth similar... was kinda sad.. but i tink i shdnt let tis module affect my other modules.. maeb i shd do well in the rest.. so tt my over percentage wun b tt bad.. ok.. let's nt tok abt tis.. it's demoralising..

went to town wif my classmates.. but nt the whole class.. 9 of us went.. jamie shu min janice rajes nicholas en hans elwin n me! hahas.. so we decided on heading to cineleisure.. but we spend lk quite long on deciding wat to eat.. mi n jamie were kinda crapping ard.. n well shu min said tt we r 2 bai chi! how could she.. hahas.. kidding.. we decided on cafe cartel.. so we went in but cox dere were 9 of us.. the waitress helped us to join the tables.. hahas.. but in the end we still left n head towards long john.. cox we wanted to play safe for rajes.. oh man.. how nice of us... hahhahahas... jux kidding we r one class.. so we shd consider for each other... yeah tt's the way~ hehehe... after eating we went heeren to take neoprints.. it was fun.. squeezing 9 of us into the screen.. hahahas.. at first the guys din wan to take.. but i psycho tem... n ya tey joined us.. hahas.. it's cool lors squeezin all our heads in.. hahas.. aftertt most of the guys gotta leave.. so ya tey left.. leaving elwin wif us.. hahas.. n the gers took neoprint agn! hahas.. he wanted to go home.. but i tried persuading him to stay.. den we cld take train together.. n since janice nids the train too.. we can all take together.. so he wanted for us.. n the gers had our fotos taken.. nice! hahas.. at least we had fun.. den sum of us went home n sum went to meet up wif frens.. elwin janice n mi took the same train.. so we kinda tok abt alot of tins.. hahas.. stupid stuff.. den we squeezed ourselves into the train too.. at cityhall.. it was simply packed wif alot of pple.. so we decided to squeeze ourselves in.. cox the other bunch of pple r all rushing over too... so to avoid more crowd.. we boarded the train.. hahas.. n poor janice had to squeeze herself all the way to the front.. hahas.. i was afraid tt she will fall.. keep asking her to b careful.. hahas.. but quite alot of pple alighted at bugis so it was quite ok... den mi n elwin started toking.. n mention abit abt all our x classmates.. n he said tt he loved his P5 P6 class the most.. n i said i love my sec 3 sec 4 class.. hahas.. 4E4! i simply love tem all.. the times we wore red.. the times we crapped together.. played together.. chiong studies together.. oh my.. i jux missed the days! dose were my happiest days i guess! 4E4 2004 rawks the house down man!

from left.. rajes, en, elwin, hans, nicholas, shu min, janice, jamie n me! squeeze!

same people.. hahas.. but we all haf sweet smiles=)

the gers~ hahas.. we all look pretty! -bleahs-

den i went to meet jas at tampines.. n yes we went shopping!! hahas.. went adidas n looked at the sweater agn... tried the sweater on.. jas sae it's nt v nice.. the other black one is beta.. but tt design dun haf white one... n i want white.. well maeb i shd continue waiting n searching for the white one.. hahas.. went to pepperplus.. n other shops saw alot of clothes.. i'm so tempted to buy tem.. saw a skirt at pepperplus.. it's so nice! 24 bucks though.. act it's quite ok le.. but if i buy i tink mummy's gona kill mi... beta bring her dere.. hahas.. i want clothes!!! hahahas.. went to CS tried the mini donuts... yum yum... taste nice.. n cute.. hahas.. but jas was rushing for time.. so she took a cab n gave mi lift.. save my energy walking! hahas.. thanks ger.. love u!! =) we shall go shopping another dae yeah? after common test! =)

- 1M01 is nice n rawk! -

- what's there to say -

2005-07-04T22:23:00.000-07:00

well.. sumone wans to read my blog.. so i'm here to blog agn.. sum how she's the one who make mi blog almost everyday.. shall i thank her? =X

finally had a chance to meet up wif jas... so happy.. haven been seeing her for lk 'years'.. missed her lk shit... so we went home together.. ate long john... n i muz sae tt i ate alot todae... hahas.. frm tml onwards muz start to jian fei le.. hahas.. no chocolates! yeah.. tt's the way... went to adidas agn... saw the sweater agn.. my god.. love it... notice wat i wanted to gt is act wat jas wanted to gt as well.. n vice versa.. hahas... great minds tinking alike! while eating received a call frm erzi.. n i knew wat he did... hais.. it reli affect mi so much when i noe wat he had done... if i ever haf a chance i reli feel lk slapping her face... wth... he's doing so much yet she's having so much complaints n stuff... aint she blessed enuff to act haf him.. wake up lars!

- to boy ( u noe hu u r ): boy.. i'm serious abt wat i've told u.. i noe u tink tt all dese r worthwhile.. but tink agn... u haf done so much.. but wat haf to gt in return? u r giving more den u take... i dun tink i shd sae agn.. u noe wat i wana sae.. dun go beyond ur limits.. if a ger is worth ur love.. she dun nid or rather she wun wan u to spend tt much.. of cox u still haf to spend abit.. but nt at the rate u r going nw.. i noe well enuff tt u dun haf much to spare already.. den dun make urself so 'miserable'.. i noe u will nv feel tt u r miserable.. oli pple hu c will tink so.. i'm nt saeing tt she's reli nt worth ur love.. ya.. u can love her more den ath else.. but after so long.. n all tt u haf gt.. as a fren.. i reli feel sad for u when i c u lidat.. u've been v troubled recently.. i dun tink u haf the energy or mood to ath.. rite? nth's gona make ur engine go on xcept her.. maeb tt's rite.. but pls.. dere r oso other tins u can put ur attention on.. she's simply unreasonable.. wat haf done is nt wrong.. she cant stop u frm making ur own frens for sure.. even if she's ur gf.. if she can haf her time to spend wif her frens... including guys... y cant u... plus i'm v sure tt u r nt dose flirt kind.. i duno wat to sae but reli... dun brood too much over tis.. tink it over v carefully before making any decisions.. tink twice.. maeb i shd stop here le bas.. take care boy.. call mi if u nid mi to listen... i'll alwiz listen ya.. =) -

- it's not important to love a perfect person, but it's important to love sumone who is nt perfect perfectly -

- fun -

2005-07-02T13:38:00.000-07:00

came back from the CA (Club Alliance) camp ydae.. reached home at abt 730.. it was a real fun camp.. but it's kinda short.. maeb i shd sae tt it's short n sweet? hahas.. it's super fun.. hahas.. serious.. we have v nice gl.. v nice committee taking care of our everything.. food games n stuffs.. on the first dae.. we had our dinner.. and sum interaction.. getting to noe one another.. hahas.. before tt i was hoping tt it's nt gona be the kinda icebreaker games i had in camps which r lk.. i hate dose icebreakers lars... lk name game whacko n stuff.. super boring lars.. but the one i had in ca wasnt as bad.. instead i tink we all had alot of fun.. hahas.. n oso all the forfeits.. hahas.. v funny n sporting pple dere as well... den we had the amazing race.. hahas.. wif lk 15 stations.. we were spilt into 2 grps.. one is the popiah grp hahas... weilun's grp.. n the other is jellytox.. hahas.. esther's grp... which is the grp i'm in! hahhas.. super fun.. esther is a v nice gl i hafta sae.. she alwiz find tins to keep us entertained.. wif all her jokes n stuff.. she was oso given the nick name as airpork.. whahahas.. she's v sporting oso... so we did haf quite alot of fun... looking for our clues... n trying to win the game.. towards the end we were lk running all the way.. we ran frm the convention to lk blk 30 sth.. damn alot of times lors.. is lk to n fro.. hahas.. ya.. it's a gd way to jian fei.. hahas.. sum parts we were kinda scared cox the places were all super dark.. hahas.. after the race although we were nt the first to reach.. but we completed all our stations... hahas..

after super it's time to slp.. but we din lars.. neng hao came over n tok to us.. told us quite alot of his xperience.. he oso told us abt wat he encounter in chinese high.. i was lk.. omg.. all the eerie stuff... scary mans... den we asked him abt wat time we had to wake up.. so he was saying tt he will wake us up at 7 n he will wake up at 5.. hahas.. we toked quite long until jia zhen came in.. act sum of the gers were doin their work.. but we find the guys too noisy.. so we decided to lk pass a msg over to ask tem to slp n keep quiet.. hahas.. den the 'love letter' tin started... we contributed wat we wana write n samantha wrote all dwn.. hahas.. we started to sae lk any cute guys dere... n the guys started promoting temselves.. my god.. michael wong.. n allen but act tese r nt their real names.. hahas.. tey r act charles n alvin... den we were lk we dun wan.. n were lk asking for the nxt representative.. madness.. hahas.. n duno for wat reason.. the guys started toking abt veron n alvin.. i was lk... oh god.. pls~ hahahas... ok.. i'm mean! bleahs.. after passing quite alot.. we were tired n decided to slp.. hahas..

nxt morn the gers woke up quite early bas.. without neng hao calling us.. when we woke up he was still slping lors.. hahas.. stupid.. but nvm... tey r tired lars.. after washing up we went dwn n had breakfast.. wah.. the breakfast was so well prepared mans.. the bread were all spread lors.. n it's nice! hahas.. esther spread all the bread siahs.. n geam ( duno how to spell =X sorry ) seng prepared the campebell soup.. woOo.. we even had tt.. as well as hot milo.. imagine wat time tey had to wake up to prepare all tis.. hahas.. thanks to the F&B pple... but sum of the food we still cant finish so we played zhong ji mi ma.. dose hu kena will haf to finish sum food.. hahas.. so i was kinda unlucky.. n kena lk quite sum times until i was super full.. hahas.. neng hao joined us... but true enuff.. pple hu sit bside him alwiz kena... hahas... so nobody dare to sit beside him.. hahas.. but we had fun lars.. too bad pei din join us.. cox she had her archery lessons.. aftertt we had sum games.. hahas.. the watermelon game.. n others.. so we were all lk having flour on our faces n stuff.. i kena flour on my whole face lors.. n the flour bcum dough n stuck to my teeth.. so i had a hard time cleaning all the flour out... hahas.. we won n were supposed to gif the other team a forfeit.. hahas.. which is lk all the guys haf to pair up wif a ger... guy piggy bag the ger den run for lk 120m.. but the criteria is alvin haf to carry veron.. hahas.. tink it's cox of the previous nite.. but poor veron.. cox i tink alvin din carry properly.. so it's lk.. veron's gona fall anytime.. poor ger.. hahas.. den we had a v gd lunch.. food was nice.. hahas.. n started wif the real dirty games! hahas.. but first we played pool games.. hahas.. captain's ball n a catching game.. hahas.. super fun.. first neng hao got bombarded by mi pei doreen n samantha.. den when we played against the ca seniors.. ryan got bombarded by all the gers... as well.. even got scratched by one of us.. but sumhow i tink louis was worse.. he got lk duno how many lines of scratches.. but all the gers claimed tt we din touched him.. hahahas.. damn jialat lors.. machiam he got abused or sth.. hahas.. den we had lk throwing of water bombs... den we were all dirtied by the seniors wif the oil butter flour.. hahas.. grose.. yet fun.. i was kinda suay... cox i keep kena.. haven play the mud game i allady kena mud by one of the seniors.. hahas... den kena oil by esther.. but most of us did.. the last game was the mud game the one tt i had for LSCT camp.. but tis one the mud was thicker.. so it was more disgusting.. den i was the second one to lie on it.. n kena super alot of mud.. sum by louis i tink n oso the others... make mi filled wif so much mud.. i was lk reli muddy lors.. my clothes all turn entirely brown! so u can imagine how disgusting it is.. but ok lars.. as long as it's fun.. i dun mind getting dirty.. cox we can alwiz bathe after tt.. whahahas..

i reli enjoyed myself during the camp.. hahas.. it's super fun wif all the nice pple frm CA.. CLUB ALLIANCE RAWKS! hahas.. look forward to their nxt event.. thanks to all the seniors too.. for organising the event to bond us together.. cox i made frens too.. hahs.. thankies!! =)

- i'm falling into to it again -

2005-06-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

supposed to go out wif ger today to shop.. but cant make it.. sorry ger.. we'll go shop again another day alright! hehes.. i seemed so addicted to sentimental songs recently.. maeb i'm feeling sentimental nw? whahas.. wat's tt man.. but i simply love songs.. sum reli touched my heart.. reli..

yes.. i felt tt.. the sweet side of him.. m i falling in it again.. i hope i'm nt.. pulling myself back each time i feel tt i'm so near.. just dun wana let myself fall into it again i guess.. i've nv felt tt he's so nice.. i knew tt he's sweet but i guess i din reli feel it until recently.. the feeling is good.. indeed.. it touched my heart.. but it left v fast.. i feel my heart melting.. n falling once again.. however i din let tis feeling last long.. but i hope tt everything will stop right there n make mi feel tt forever.. m i contradicting myself? i guess i m.. wat i wan it to b will never b wat it turns out to b.. the feelings for him seemed to be entering my heart once more.. will that stay there n stop at that very moment... making mi feel the bless i once had.. revealing the vulnerable side of mi.. it just seem so hard to stop myself from falling.. but yet i'm trying my best to hold myself back.. is the door opened for mi? n will the light help to brighten my path ahead? i wana b the one who will brighten up ur day seeing ur radiant smile once more.. the one who will stay wif u when u r down.. i will alwiz b dere when u nid mi.. maeb i will not haf u rite beside mi.. it doesnt matter.. cox wat matters more is the happiness i wan u to haf n a wonderful life i wan u to lead.. even if it means that we r just frens.. i reli don't mind.. being the fren who can be wif u thru ur ups n downs is all i ask for.. guess i've cum to tis stage... when i hope tt i will be able to maintain wat r we nw.. i seem to b at the T-junction.. standing all alone.. tinking of the right path to go.. i just cant stop tinking.. but i refused to face any failure again.. i cant afford to.. my heart is too weak to handle anymore pains.. it's scarred.. n will never heal.. u alwiz made mi feel tt i'm so low n far frm ur heart when i tot i was near.. has love ever entered our hearts..? i refused to open tt door n lose my way again..

tis is enuff i guess.. don't bring mi any further.. ur gd towards mi brings mi hope.. but i'm tired of all the false hopes i alwiz have.. can u just stop being so nice n caring towards mi.. yet at the same time i enjoy the kinda of care from u.. i'm lost.. can sumone tell mi wat to do? guess it's just the kinda care a fren will show to the other fren.. maeb i'm tinking too much.. maeb i shd put all tis bhind.. n treasure wat i'm having nw.. =)

- i'm falling into it again.. and i'm pulling myself back.. -

- pissed -

2005-06-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

f***! jux dropped my wallet without noeing on mon.. n found it back.. nw i reli lost my wallet! wat the hell.. dun even noe if it's stolen or wat.. cox when i found tt my wallet's lost.. my front pocket where i put my wallet is opened! shit lars.. if it's stolen.. f*** tt person hu stole it! all my stuff r inside lors.. my allowance for the rest of the month.. my atm.. ezlink ( two sumore my sec one wif money inside n my present one.. wif my 97 bucks concession n 10 bucks inside! ).. student card.. IC! 100 bucks to reapply my IC 10 or 20 for ezlink.. duno how much for student card.. n my 97 bucks concessions.. n dere goes my allowance for the rest of the month! i'm reli penniless nw lars.. tmd.. n wat's more.. my mum keep kp-ing mi lors.. saeing wat my temper so bad.. retribution or sth.. n wat i alwiz dun listen to her put my wallet in the front pocket.. wat the... all the while i put my wallet n stuf dere de lors.. she oso nv sae ath b4.. pls lors! den sae wat i bad temper offend pple.. den pple wana curse mi! wah piang.. such tins she oso can sae out lors.. i'm pissed n fan enuff le.. she still wana add on to my troubles.. losing wallet is so trouble sum n plus everything is inside.. i'm xin tong enuff! cant she jux shut her mouth up! she's worried.. yes.. but can she consider abt my feelings oso! tmd nb! jux feel tt she's so sl when she scolds mi... reli lors... buzzing abt! super fucked up nw lors.. it's jux a super bad day lars! how suay can i gt mans~ shit!

- i failed -

2005-06-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

todae was the NRA audition.. yup.. i failed to gt thru.. went dere wif larry.. kinda disappointed n sad act.. cox i reli lk hip hop.. n hope to let it b in part of my life.. but i din gt thru.. sad lars.. but ok lars.. at least i tried.. but still i'm sad! =( argh~ hais.. larry got thru.. i'm happy for him! yeah.. all the best to my frens hu got thru NRA.. vicki, vanessa, larry and wayne! i'll definitely support u all during ur production or any competition kaes.. i would love to c u guys on stage! jia you!

met up wif henry after my audition.. had lunch at pastamania.. n watched ghost train... =X on his treat.. thanks! hees.. the movie was kinda 'complicated' maeb i shld sae tt it's abit blur.. i dun reli understand the movie.. abit no story line? but ok lars.. nt v scary.. cox i gt scared a few times oli.. tink he nearly fall aslp lors.. hahas.. xcept the part i gt scared n made him jing shen i tink.. hahas... but ok lars.. told him how suay i was tis wk.. n he agreed tt i'm dumb~ stupid lars.. but nvm.. i shall learn smart.. den we went walking ard.. saw a damn cute soccer jersey at royal sporting.. it's for babies lars.. so cute lors.. too bad it's too big to hang on bag.. n too x.. hehes.. if nt i'll gt it mans.. =X saw alot of nice shirts shorts n sweater at adidas~ woOoo.. nice lars.. i wana buy the white sweater!!! but i tink it's super x.. but it's super nice!!! start saving money.. but i tink mama will kill mi if i buy it.. hahas.. bought wrist band for henry.. as a v v v belated birthday present.. sorry~ but beta den dun haf lars.. rites? hahas.. i lk the orange one! tink i'm simply in love wif orange nw.. n all the bright colours! went to city chain.. cox he wana gt a watch.. so we looked ard.. saw sum adidas ones.. quite nice.. but quite ex.. hahas.. i saw one orange one.. damn nice lors.. oopps.. orange agn~ bleahs.. shall save money to buy tins i wan!! but tink mum will kill mi.. hahas.. but nvm.. still will save!

jux printed the IPC tut.. no wonder huiling sae she nids her notes.. i nv even read the qns.. i tink i'm gona haf probs wif it le.. shucks! =X shall finish it tonite? hopefully.. =/

- am i having that feeling again? i hope not.. -

-will i c the light that will light my way-

2005-06-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

had CATS today.. got so pissed off wif the lecturer mans.. act she was one of the lecturer i lk.. but after todae.. i found out tt she's having pms.. my god.. one of the grps din noe tt tey had to do all the planning n hand tem up.. so she told tem.. n sumone in tt grp said a 4 letter word.. she got super angry.. n shouted tt we r nt supposed to sae tt.. n tt we r supposed to read the mel for info.. den my grp had qns abt the template n how do we work on it.. so we asked her.. but we ended up gtting scolded by her!! she said wat we din read.. cant alwiz wait for lecturer to sppon feed us.. den y we do so slowly.. still at the ideas listing... wat the~~~ my grp allady finished tt lors.. we finished the first two parts le lors.. which i dun even tink the others haf starting typing in lars.. i was lk shit her lors.. we told her tt we r done wif tt le.. if we aint.. den y would we ask her abt the other worksheet.. use her brain lars.. wah lao.. reli haf the slappable face lors.. hahas.. =X she's jux angry over the other grp n she came venting all her anger at my grp! keep scolding us lars.. but she tok to tt grp using such frenly tone.. i'm lk.. shit u! hahas.. =X when she calmed dwn she went ard toking to other grps so nicely lars... den after lesson she sae tt if we haf qns feel free to call or email her.. she wun scold us~ i was lk AS IF! hahas.. den tink he guilt-strickened.. hahas.. cox when we asked her abt another tin.. she was so patient n tok to us so nicely.. n keep asking if we haf any probs.. if haf can go n find her... hahahas..~

ok.. enuff of all my scoldings n grumblings le.. hahas.. it's nt gd.. hahahas.. tml will b the audition.. jamie's nt going cox she's sick.. hm.. take care kaes.. rest well ahs! hahas.. so i'll b going wif larry den.. sians~ hahas.. two of us oli... argh.. but i cant miss tml's audition! it's v v v imprt.. it determines my nxt 3 yrs in np.. whahahas~ woooOhoooOo.. hahas.. so i'll try my best tml bas.. hopefully can gt thru... (although i haf a bad omen) hahas.. =X

chatting wif huiling nw.. omg she's so deprived.. hahas.. she keep entering all the same faces.. haiyo.. ger.. enuff lars... grow up!! hahas.. kidding..

tt's wat we call enjoying life n stay happy bas.. it's imprt to b positive n look at life as sth v interesting n happy..=)

- will i see the light that will light my way -

-happiness-

2005-06-23T23:29:00.000-07:00

jux finished my IPC quiz! my god.. i'm so frustated..! i made two silly mistake lors! how could i... haiyo.. tis wk is jux my bad wk.. so i tink i beta forgt abt tis wk.. start everything fresh! muz psycho myself n make myself haf the mentality tt i'm nt suay.. lek sae the more i sae i suay.. the more suay i gt.. so i shall take her advice.. whahas... I'M SO LUCKY! -bleahs-

met up wif lek todae.. y? cox i'm dumb enuff to forgt my IPC prac report.. n i had to go all the way back home n gt it.. hahas.. troublesum.. but ya.. i feel more secured lidat.. hahas.. i feel so bad.. cox i ask lek to pei mi to sch n hand in my work.. n when i alight from the train milton called mi n sae tt he's in sch waiting for my work.. i was lk.. omg.. hahas.. i told him tt he can go ahead n hand in first.. but he waited.. i feel so bad lars.. made him wait so long.. sorry! n oso thanks for waiting for mi.. hahas.. reli thanks alot.. i hope i wun encounter such probs in future.. hahas.. =X so i tink i beta gt a notebk to record everything dwn.. if nt i will die lars.. hahas.. but ok lars.. nt too bad afterall.. =)

i shall learn to b smarter... hahas.. tt's my new goal! =X maddness.. hahas.. yeah! dere's another audition for NRA tis sat.. i'm going for it for sure.. cox i wana try my luck.. gona tis wk is my bad wk.. but i shall c how.. hahas.. even if i dun gt in at least i tried.. hahas.. tink jamie's going wif mi.. yeah she is! i'm so happy.. hahas.. haven informed larry n chris.. gotta do tt ltr.. hahas.. we shall c wat's gona happen on sat.. hopefully it will b fine.. =) at least i try.. =)

hahas.. i've alwiz said.. wadeva we do.. being happy is the most imprt tin.. happiness will motivate us to put in more effort in doing tt tin.. if we aint happy abt wat we r doing we wun do it gd.. cox nth interests us.. life wun b smooth at all.. i can sae tt.. cox i dun tink anyone has walked tt path smoothly.. we r bound to b hindered by all kinds of obstacles.. it's jux a matter of how we r gona handle tem.. r we reli going face the fact or jux chuck it aside tinking tt it will b solved naturally.. sumtimes we wun wana face the fact.. but sumtins jux r jux nt meant to be.. so y force ourselves in it.. tt will oli make our lives more miserable.. since we r given a choice den we shd make our lives more meaningful bas.. tt's wat i tink.. to mi.. i jux hope tt frens ard mi r happy.. cox when i c the kinda of happiness tey r feeling n the smiles tey haf on their faces.. it jux make my day happy too.. as the saying goes.. u happy i happy everybody happy! yes i cant make everyone happy.. but i can pray for their happiness.. tt's the oli i can do bas.. u can sae tt i look lk i'm acting wei da.. but i'm jux saeing tins frm the bottom of my heart... guess pple hu noe mi will well noe bas..

stopping here.. take care peeps.. stay happy kaes..! =) smiles=)

- happiness should be the element in life -

- what's there to think -

2005-06-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

hm.. todae was the lecture day.. n ya.. i kinda slept alot during the lectures.. anw i oso duno wat the lecturers were toking abt.. jialat lars.. common test all cumming le.. hais.. gotta start mugging mans... i dun wana fail wif flying colours lors... i will cry.. hahas.. went to a new place for lunch todae.. at the alumni clubhouse.. the place is quite nice.. but the food is kinda ex.. ya.. i'm broke la.. tt's y.. plus i gave chak 10 bucks todae.. so stupid.. gave him 10 bucks cox we had tis bet tt the one who score higher for the MB quiz will treat the one who score lower... my gosh.. wat a stupid betting.. i feel so dumb... ok.. let's nt tok abt it anymore..

hahas.. as usual went home wif huiling.. told her tt if she noe tt she wun accept wj den jux tell him str.. dun drag.. the longer she drag the worse it will gt.. dun wan her to face sum necessary troubles as well.. so she reli tok to him.. n told him.. hopefully he will understand bas.. be more mature in tinking? hahas.. evil mi.. ya told huiling tt.. sumhow i feel tt the past kept flashing in my mind.. duno y.. but it jux cums flashing across my mind.. shd tt b sth gd or bad.. gd for the nice memories bas.. n bad for the ones tt reli made mi regret.. had been toking alot abt regretting recently.. however wat's dere to regret when the choice is made by mi.. no one else.. no one force mi to.. guess it's sth many pple will haf.. regrets in life.. we jux haf to learn to make decisions tt we will never regret.. in tis way our lifes will be more fruitful.. n maeb learn to live wif wat's ard u.. accept the fact n move on.. no one's gona wait for u.. xcept urself..

rite nw maeb i shd start concentrating on my upcoming common test.. cox i reli hope to do well.. although i haf quite alot to catch up for my IPC n MB.. but i'll try my best bas.. cox my ultimate goal is to enter the university.. i dun wana let my family down.. although my mum sae as long as i work hard.. she will b happy.. but i noe tt all of tem still hope tt i will make it dere.. so no matter wat.. i wana do my best n make sure i can make it up dere.. hopefully... =) take care peeps..

- what's more for me to think -

顺时针

2005-06-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

顺时针梁咏琪

淋过雨的空气疲倦了的伤心
静静收起的伞底泪的痕迹渐渐退去
我一个人鼓起勇气跟着时钟一格一格的前进
推开窗等待阳光等待着清醒
我记忆里的童话已经慢慢的溶化爱不是这样
而你偷走我的时间曾说过的誓言你还在乎吗
我不想孤单的坐在回忆里逞强
时间回不到最开始的地方
只想这样吹着风慢慢顺时针遗忘
我一个人应该可以
想起爱过之前原来的自己
或许那样的天真我已经回不去
也许我懂得寂寞比相爱容易
我记忆里的童话已经慢慢的溶化爱不是这样
而你偷走我的时间曾说过的誓言你还在乎吗
我不想孤单的坐在回忆里逞强
时间回不到最开始的地方
只想这样吹着风慢慢顺时针遗忘
等到明天继续放晴几乎忘记下过了雨
爱在心底留的签名总会慢慢退去

- life -

2005-06-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

hm.. today is a super bad day me.. hahas.. i feel so super duper dumb lars.. i dropped my wallet without knowing! oh my god how could i! i seriously din notice tt my wallet wasnt wif mi... until the np person called mi n told mi tt i dropped my wallet n it's with the mega bites manager.. i was lk 'phew!' luckily sumone picked it up and was so kind to return it to mi.. if nt i'm super dead lors.. all my stuffs are inside.. my ezlink student card ic atm money... all my jia chan is inside lars.. if i lose tt.. i can go jump le.. whahas.. i felt so so so dumb lars.. cox i din noe.. so ya.. i din blame jason for scolding my ben dan todae.. cox i m indeed one.. whahas.. =X thank god i got it back! thanks to the kind soul mans~!

din tot of writting blog todae de.. but sumone wans to read it.. hahas.. my fan~ thank u thank u.. whahas.. tt's the super ma fan huiling.. hahas.. siao~ kidding lars.. hahas.. i so kind y will i scold u tt! bleahs.. hm read her blog.. reli thanks for being my super good fren in poly.. as in reli noe frm poly de.. i din xpect us to b so gd at first.. but well it turn out tt she love mi! whahas.. kidding.. but reli thanks for crapping wif mi n tolerating all my nonsense.. serious.. thanks ger.. i agree wif wat she said "It's not about monetary, fashion and comparing who has got what which is better. It's about life, love and friendship." i'm reli glad tt we can b pure frens hu nv compares n stuff.. reli.. to mi friendship is reli v imprt.. i guess dose hu noe mi well will noe tt i reli treat frenships v seriously.. i hate to sae gdbye.. nt only to the one i love deeply.. but oso the frens whom i loved.. i alwiz tink tt comparing frens and choosing frm tis fren to tt fren is a v 'bu dao de' tin to do.. maeb cox of our immaturity tt we did all dese kinda of stupid stuff in the past.. but it's reli the past le..

hm.. haven been seeing jasmine for a v v v v v long time.. reli missed her soO much.. read her blog.. sumtimes when i read her blog.. i feel so sad tt when she's down i wasnt dere to cheer her up n stuff.. i duno wat's been bothering her.. i'm nt trying to sae tt i hafta noe every single tin tt's happening ard her.. but i jux hope tt i can b dere for her when she reli nid mi.. guess it's cox we r quite far apart n dun haf much chances to meet up.. but hope tt we will meet up sum day n catch up alright~ - to jasmine: ger.. i reli feel bad when i read abt ur blog abt the bad tins u've gone thru.. i duno wat's reli causing all ur probs.. maeb it's him.. maeb it's nt.. but watever it is.. i wana tell u sth.. although we seem to b far apart.. but i'll alwiz b dere for u when u nid a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on.. cox i've been treating u as my v v close jie mei since i was in sec 3.. until nw.. i still haf the same tot.. n i will still treat u as my hao jie mei in the future.. no matter where we go.. u will alwiz stay in my heart kaes.. =) hope tt ur life will b problem free n u will stay happy for the rest of ur life.. =) i noe u bliff in god.. so god will alwiz b dere to protect u kaes? find sum day to go out kaes... i reli missed the days we were so mad n happy..! take care kaes.. miss ya! love ya lots!-

however i'm sumone hu will alwiz look back n regret tis n tt.. but y regret when tt's the choice u've made at the v first moment.. tt's y i hate to make choices.. if henry ever read tis.. i tink he will start saying i v ji chou n stuff.. hahas.. but i will alwiz look back whenever i'm alone.. whenever i'm nt occupied.. i hate the feeling of waiting for tins tt will nv cum to u.. yet i will still do so.. but as time passed.. sum tins i learn to let go.. but sum tins i still cant.. cox i reli regret the choice i made tt change my life.. if i din take tt wrong step.. i wun b wat i m nw.. rite nw.. i'm jux a person who haf so called gif up hope on relationships yet still waiting for the right one to come.. yes.. u can sae tt i'm contradicting myself bas.. but tt's wat i m nw.. sumhow i feel tt i'm off track.. n i reli hope tt sumone can pull mi back.. will that person be you?

- to huiling: ger.. reli thanks for crapping wif mi, tolerating my nonsense, and booking seats for mi in leature! whahas.. u r reli the first fren hu i can reli haf sum kinda heart to heart chat in poly.. other den my sec sch frens.. i'm glad tt u can trust mi n tell mi abt sum of ur stuffs.. maeb nt all.. but i dun nid u to tell mi every single tin tt u've been thru.. but sumtime sumwhere when u nid mi.. i will b dere for u.. listen to wat u've gotta sae.. when u're down i will try my best to cheer u up alright.. afterall tt's wat frens r for.. frenship is oso a kinda fate bas.. the fact tt we can reli click.. i believe that we r brought together by sth called fate.. n i reli will treasure tis frenship.. thanks for being wif mi accompanying mi thru the start of poly life.. =) cheers! -

2005-06-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

老鼠爱大米

我听见你的声音
有种特别的感觉
让我不断想不敢再忘记你
我记得有一个人
永远留在我心中
哪怕只能够这样的想你
如果真的有一天
爱情理想会实现
我会加倍努力好好对你永远不改变
不管路有多么远
一定会让它实现
我会轻轻在你耳边对你说(对你说)
我爱你爱着你
就像老鼠爱大米
不管有多少风雨我都会依然陪着你
我想你想着你
不管有多么的苦
只要能让你开心我什么都愿意
这样爱你
我听见你的声音
有种特别的感觉
让我不断想不敢再忘记你
我记得有一个人
永远留在我心中
哪怕只能够这样的想你
如果真的有一天
爱情理想会实现
我会加倍努力好好对你永远不改变
不管路有多么远
一定会让它实现
我会轻轻在你耳边对你说(对你说)
我爱你爱着你
就像老鼠爱大米
不管有多少风雨我都会依然陪着你
我想你想着你
不管有多么的苦
只要能让你开心我什么都愿意
这样爱你
我爱你爱着你
就像老鼠爱大米
不管有多少风雨我都会依然陪着你
我想你想着你
不管有多么的苦
只要能让你开心我什么都愿意
这样爱你

- will love ever surround me again -

2005-06-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

I Need You

I don't need a lot of things
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring
I've always needed something
But i've got all i want
When it comes to loving you
You're my only reason
You're my only truth

I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you

You're the hope that moves me
To courage again
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds, rage
And it's so amazing
'cause that's just how you are
And i can't turn back now
'cause you've brought me too far

I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you
Oh yes i do

I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you
Oh yes i do
I need you
I need you

- will you be there when i need you -

- trying hard -

2005-06-17T23:56:00.000-07:00

hm.. din blog last nite.. cox din reli haf the time.. but ya... i was freaking super duper pissed off ydae morn! y?! cox i woke up at 6 jux to go to the maths lect... 2 pathetic hours.. n i can go home... ended up going to sch n found out tt the lect was cancelled! so stupid lors.. reli super angry mans... waste my time oli lars.. wat an inconsiderate lecturer we haf.. she claimed tt she posted on the mel the previous nite.. but my frens all din c.. so i assumed tt she either posted it at a v late hour or the nxt morn... my god~ how can she xpect us to wake up at the wee hours jux to check the mel to ensure tt dere's lect on tt day~ wat the hell! idiotic old hag mans... si lao nu ren! hahas.. n i ended up going to sch for a few mins.. den go home... wat can b more stupid den tis~ my gosh! hahas... so i ended cursing her lk no one's business.. but i doubt i'm the oli one! wahahas!

today as usual i had my sw- hip hop! hahas.. n i found out wif anne tt dere will definitely b a audition nxt wk.. most prob on the 24 25.. hahas.. tt's cool man! hahas.. i will go! although i doubt i can gt in.. but ya.. i will still go.. hahas.. at least i noe i try.. hahas.. jux tt i will hafta waste 5 bucks~ hahas.. so i'm looking forward to the audition! =)

hm.. sumtimes i feel tt all dese r making mi tink too much.. i'm trying hard nt to b influenced.. but can i? i started to tink alot.. nt oli abt nw.. but the past... sumtins tt happened in the past i reli dun wish to keep tem in my heart.. but sumtins i reli hope to leave tem in my heart till the end of time.. but of cox tinking of the past reminds of sths tt i haf done wrong.. choices tt i haf made wrongly.. i seriously regret tem nw.. but nth's gona bring all dese back to the past.. can i ever go back to the past.. the gd part of the past.. n erase all the bad part of the past..? i doubt so.. but i reli hope tt i can.. i regret hurting sumone.. tis sumone treated mi v gd.. made mi feel tt i'm v blessed.. but sumhow tins went wrong for mi.. cox i let him go.. n hurt him.. ended up hurting myself deeply as well.. pple r alwiz lidat bas.. fate jux plays ard wif pple.. when tt sumone is right in frt of u.. u wun treasure.. but u will oli start to miss him when he walks away.. i guess i'm fortunate enuff to ever feel blessed.. but i hope tt i will once agn feel the bless.. i haven got tt kinda feeling for v long le.. i was jux too tired to find my xin fu.. too tired of being kept in the dark.. jux feel lk letting go of all my unhappiness.. all my troubles.. i jux wana gt back the feeling i once had.. the xperience i once had.. or maeb i wana haf a brand new beginning.. but can i? may i haf a chance to gt wat i wan...

- at the beginning -

-giving up-

2005-06-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

hm.. sum how i feel tt i'm giving up le.. at tis moment.. tis point in time.. i feel tt maeb it's reli nt the rite feeling bas.. ya.. sum how maeb i din gt the feelings rite? found out tt maeb he's nt the type i'm going for bas.. but afterall it wasnt tt deep.. maeb it's jux a crush i guess.. dere's still a long way to go.. so.. ya..

tis few wks quite packed.. had tests tutorials n online maths to do.. but haven been reli doing for the past few days.. cox dun reli haf the access to it... but will do in over the wkends bas.. so tink tis wkend i will b kinda busy? hahas.. but ok lars.. although it's abit stress.. the fun element is still dere... so i still din regret choosing tis course.. M01 is oso fun.. hahas.. although we seldom c each other.. but i noe the pple dere r out to haf fun~ hahas.. rawk on ya!

today went to SIM for lunch.. together wif huiling tey all.. hahas.. lk b4.. we all had the SIM smell agn.. hahas.. hate it mans.. being super forgetful.. i left my fone at my auntie's hse! stupid mi... how can i ever survive without my fone! hahas.. but i brought my the other fone.. 3210.. all of tem were lk making fun of tt fone lars.. hahas.. saeing tey r gona keep calling mi.. make mi malu wif tt fone.. the monophonic tone the no colour screen tin.. n stuff lars.. hahas.. den we were all luffing lk mad lors.. esp huiling lars... she started it! hahas.. den wayne was asking all of tem to bring their old fones tml lars.. cox i said tt was my v first fone mars.. hahas.. cant blame mi rites.. hahas.. den he still act as if tt's the latest fone.. saeing all the cam n 3g stuff.. n phy said i beta send the fone for service cox no colour! hahas.. den i said ya lors.. even the cam lost le.. whahas... total crap lars! hahas... but it was fun lars.. at least all of us had a gd luff~ hahas..

tt's all for todae! take care peeps!

- can i ever trust my heart? -

-lalala lalala elmo's song! -

2005-06-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

hahas.. suppose to write tis ydae.. but my server had abit of prob lars.. cant blame mi! whahas.. so let mi tok abt ydae..

well thurs n fri r alwiz the days i look forward to every wk cox of early release on thurs.. n hip hop for sw on fri! oh my god.. hip hop is jux so fantastic lars.. hahas.. i reli love it mans.. if dere's reli another audition tis cumming wk.. i will go.. although i haf to pay lk 5.. but i tink it's worth it.. jux wana try lars.. if i happen to gt in.. i will b damn happy.. if i dun.. at least i try rites.. hahas.. i reli love it! it rawks..! hahas.. jux tt i'm finding pple to go wif mi.. larry wans to go too.. so ya.. might b going wif him if dere is.. n i manage to kinda psycho chris to go.. hahas.. hopefully dere'll b an audition..

after lesson yday.. i went to meet my pri sch mate (chao yu).. went to jurong point for lunch.. n ya.. 'shopping' without buying.. i went in n out of kiddy shops.. lk kiddy palance.. toy 'r' us.. hahas.. n ya.. he felt kinda paiseh to enter dose shops.. but he had no where to go as well.. so ya.. went to kiddy palance n guess wat! i finally found the elmo's pacifier! my god.. i regretted buying the pacifier so early mans.. although the present piyopiyo one is quite cute too.. but i simply love elmo one lars.. oso haf the cookie monster one! sickening lars.. y did i buy so early.. y did i go jurong point so late! hahas.. so i starting blaming my fren.. whahas.. was jux kidding ya.. went to eat at fish n co.. stayed dere super long i guess.. n i was luffing lk sum crazy ger.. hahas.. until my fren was lk.. wat happened to u? y r u luffing until lidat.. hahas.. ok.. den i brought him to 'tour' at np.. hahas.. went to the library.. coolest place in np! hahas.. went round the library level by level.. felt so dumb lars! hahas.. den went to the nicest blk in np.. the business block.. aftertt i brought him to life science blk to show him the contrast lars.. as well as the canteen 5.. the pathetic one.. stupid mans.. hahas.. din reli spend much time in np cox he gotta rush for cca.. so tot of walking short cut.. thru SIM.. den the lift.. hahas.. i act found the carpark lift.. so i took the lift all the way to level one.. n we were lk stuck dere.. cox i dun rmb which door to exit.. hahas.. damn farni lars.. y? cox the bloody door was blocked by two vans! so i brought him to so many wrong doors.. i'm sorry ahs! hahas.. den eventually after walking a big rd.. we saw the door.. i felt so stupid.. cox it was jux beside the lift lobby! hahas.. ok.. i'm reli sorry for wasting ur time! hahas.. but at least nw i noe my way le.. -to jason: hey! i finally found the carpark lift kaes.. frm SIM.. hahas.. n i noe the exit n entrance too.. hahas.. dun luff! i went thru the hard way kaes! hahas.. but i found it! i'm nt ben dan hoRs!- ok.. so i kinda haf abit of fun.. but by the time we were lk super tired le lars... n i dun tink he haf the energy to do PT for his camp le lars.. hahas.. we saw a big dog at the bus stop mans.. n i was lk wishing tt bus 74 faster cum lars.. hahas.. finally it came.. at least i dun tink he was late for his camp lars..hahas.. sorry!

rite nw.. i'm at my auntie's hse.. gotta b here until nxt fri.. to help her look after her dog.. while she's away.. sad ahs.. cant haf my bed.. n my internet connection! hahas.. but nw i tink i beta gt startedto study for my physio test nxt wk le.. before i flung it nxt wk! hahas.. take care peeps! =)

- lalala lalala elmo's song - hip hop rawks -

-love-

2005-06-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

hm.. todae met up wif glad.. did quite alot of catch up wif her.. ya.. had sum heart to heart gers tok.. reli enjoy tt lars.. it has been a v long time since i last had tis kinda tok nt oli wif her.. but i jux haven had a chance to sae out alot tins in my heart to my 'jie mei' lars.. so ya.. feel kinda relieved tt i at least told her.. reli love the feeling lars.. n tis kinda toking sessions.. she came n met mi n jason at np.. how sweet... hahahas.. *grins* had lunch together.. den i managed to psycho her to wait for mi to end my lesson~ hahahas.. n ask jason to accompany her.. hahas.. at least i gave tem a chance to catch up too.. so ya.. thanks glad! cox i'm reli glad tt we met up todae.. hahas! but reli sorry to make u n jason wait for so long..

we tok abt relationships.. ya.. i haf to agree tt.. it's sth tt reli have to be two sided? jux nt one sided lars.. cox i reli find tt one sided is v difficult.. n can b saddening.. so sum how it is gd to gt sum comments frm frens.. before making the choice or rather step into the path to start falling for sum one.. it's nt as simple to like a person cox he or she is handsum or pretty.. it's nv easy to decide on the kinda partner u reli wan.. we wun ever gt sumone hu is reli perfect.. cox no one is perfect.. jux wana gt sumone hu can dote on u n reli gif u his whole heart.. tt's enuff le.. i guess.. jux tis is already nt easy to find.. we nid 2 hands to clap.. subsequently.. we nid both parties to agree before we can start a relationship.. i duno how to xplain tis but ya.. to mi.. i jux nid sumone hu reli love mi n dote on mi.. tink tt's more den enuff bas.. so ya.. i shall wait for the day tis guy appear~ hahas!

tink i shall stop here..

-never noe wat to do-

-thanks gladys for waiting for mi n thanks jason for helping mi to pei glad to wait for mi! hahas.. but i'm sorry for keeping u two waiting.. i reli reli v sorry.. i din noe tt lecturer's gona drag so long.. hahas.. sorry! i'll make up sum day by treating the both of u alright! take care guys=)-

new beginning-

2005-06-03T14:33:00.000-07:00

just started tis blog.. tot that i shd start everything afresh.. cox i refused to rmb all the unhappiness i had been thru for the past one mth.. it's simply killing me.. all the ridiculous stories n happenings.. it jux make mi feel cheated n that the guilt i had for the past few mths isn't worth it.. sumhow tins dun appear to b wat i've seen.. i jux hate being kept in the dark abt tins i shd haf known long ago.. so i've decided nt to look back anymore.. cox i dun wan to b reminded of dose tins..

rite nw.. i'm in a totally new environment.. making new frens.. a new beginning of everything.. sch is kinda fun so far.. after all the camps.. i gt to noe more n more frens.. i reli enjoyed myself in all the camps.. esp the LSCT camp
.. although it's super dirty.. but it's super fun as well.. the SU FOC was fun too.. i simply love the dance nite.. all of us were super high n dance non stop for lk 2.5 hours.. cool rites? hahas.. yday was the hopnite.. but i still prefer the SU FOC's dance nite.. it's super nice.. i missed all my camp mates lors.. hahas.. spartans n frozone rox..! yeah.. my class 1M01 is nice too.. reli enjoy their company..

hmM.. as for other tins.. maeb i shd sae i'm piecing tins up nw bas.. as i've told gladys.. guess i'm tinking too much.. when i feel tt i'm falling for him.. dere's bound to b sth tt is holding mi back.. the coldness b/w the both of us n stuff.. maeb lk wat glad said.. sum how we r still nt tt close yet.. so maeb the other one is beta.. but sumhow.. i tink tt was just a crush bas.. cox the feeling fades v fast.. as for him.. i duno.. but maeb cox we gt in contact more.. but rite nw.. dun tink i shd haf any hopes n tink too much.. dere's still a long way to go.. fate will tell mi the ans bas..

k.. i shall stop here nw.. take care peeps.. do change my link in ur blogs ya.. thanks alot! miss all my E4 pple, spartan n frozone! u guys simply make my life more meaningful! heE=)